Baby daddies might be old flames who have the bad habit of sending mixed messages. Alternatively, they could be your current partner – but acting out in ways that make you doubt where the relationship you share stands. It can get complicated trying to figure out their feelings.
Your baby daddy still loves you if he goes out of his way to give you and your child importance. He’d work hard to stay dependable, even when the going gets tough. He’d prioritize making the family happy, and personally be hard at work improving himself.
Your baby daddy might still see you in a romantic light if they talk about your past relationship nostalgically – they may not have fully moved on. They try to keep in touch with you as a person (not as the mother of their child!). Lastly, they might be openly uncomfortable with you dating other people.
While you won’t ever be 100% certain unless you straight-up ask them, there are a few tell-tale signs that your baby daddy still has some love in their heart for you.
It may not be in the romantic light though – we’ll go over that in better depth down below.
A Note: Clarifying Love
Your baby daddy may love you, but that affection can come in a few different ways – not just romantically. They might treasure you as a person, friend, and mother of their child. You’d feel their warmth and kindness, but that doesn’t necessarily imply that the attraction still lingers.
That’s not a bad outcome. The two of you can still be part of a wonderful family even if you aren’t in a relationship together. Pushing for that might just make things uncomfortable and awkward. To this end, we’ve separated the signs to follow here:
Plain headings mean that the sign of love here could easily be platonic or friendly in nature.
Underlined headings are a lot more likely to (but won’t always!) hint at lingering romantic interest.
He Gives You and Your Children Well-Deserved Importance
Too many baby daddies run off on the kids they fathered, leaving an exhausted mom to handle all that responsibility. Even the ones that don’t do that might restrict their involvement to token child support – nothing more than a check in the mail every couple of weeks.
If your baby daddy is giving you and your kids real interest and importance, it’s a sign that they do genuinely love you and your kids. They want to be a part of their childhood and support your efforts in ways that go beyond legal or societal obligations.
It’s a choice they made – to love you and your children as a family. It’s a welcome sign to see, but not necessarily something that indicates interest in a relationship.
They might want to be a good father, but that doesn’t mean that they’re ready or even willing to be your romantic partner again.
He’s Present and Reliable (Even when the Going Gets Tough!)
Some baby daddies end up bailing at the first sign of real trouble, leaving their partner and children to deal with the fallout on their own. If your baby daddy isn’t the fair-weathered sort, they’ll be sure to stick around to help the family through whatever tough situation came up.
We’d specifically like to emphasize that reliability here.
Your baby daddy might be ready to step up when things take a bad turn, but they can’t just restrict their appearances to family emergencies. Doing so just makes their actions feel obligatory, rather than ones acted out of genuine concern for the family’s well-being.
You can still be grateful when your baby daddy drops in to assist the family in a pinch, but don’t misconstrue it as a sign of love – not for you or your children. They should be part of the family on good days too. Not just saviors who only step in whenever things get out of hand.
He Talks About Your Past Relationship Wistfully
If your baby daddy keeps bringing up your past relationship together, it’s probably a sign that they still love you – and that they dearly miss how things were.
Think of it this way: what other reason would they have to keep bringing it up?
Most exes would just have the unspoken agreement to bury that topic. They’d let the past stay in the past, and do their best to move on even if the two still had to interact in day-to-day life.
Other exes would bring up past relationships, but mostly to complain! They’d start whining about what went wrong or perhaps how they were mistreated in the relationship.
A lot of misgivings would come up, and navigating them would take a ton of finesse neither party is likely to manage. They’d bicker and vent, leaving things worse between one another.
A select few will focus on your old relationship in a positive light, remembering the good times with a smile. They’d think about fond memories the two of you shared – and perhaps invite you to enjoy them too.
This shows that they didn’t view the past relationship as a mistake – in fact, this might be a sign that the only mistake they see in that relationship was ending it!
That said, the two of you did break up for a reason. It’s okay if both of you might be interested in getting back together, but if you want things to last focus on what went wrong back then first.
He Goes Out Of His Way To Make You And Your Kids Happy
Your baby daddy might care for you and your children’s health. They might visit to check up on everyone and pitch in when problems come knocking.
That might make him a good caretaker or provider. To be a good father though, they need to put in the effort to make everyone happy – not just financially stable. A father can’t just throw money at problems, hoping the family works all of it out on their own!
Let’s say your kid had their birthday coming up soon. A father who’d look out for them might just send them some money and call it a day. It might meet their needs but lacks the personal touch.
Contrast that to a father that looks for something their kid genuinely expressed interest in. Maybe that kid got excited about ninjas, so their dad found them a nice toy katana for their birthday!
If your baby daddy is hard at work providing for their family’s happiness – not just providing them with the means to do that for themselves – it’s a sure sign of their love, affection, and attention.
He Tries to Keep in Touch with You (Not about your Kids!)
When your baby daddy comes to check up on you, what does he usually ask about?
If they’re only interested in their family, their questions will reflect that. They might ask how the kids are doing in school – if they’re making any new friends, if they’re having fun learning, etc.
They might also ask about your well-being here – perhaps how well you’ve been handling the pressure of being a mom. They could offer to help out where they can.
They might also ask for your input on what your kids need best, along with how he might go about providing that to them.
If he’s asking these sorts of questions, he’s just trying to be a caring family man.
On the other hand, if he’s asking specifically about you (independent of your children’s needs), their intentions might go beyond just managing co-parenting responsibilities.
Your baby daddy might ask about how you’re doing personally – maybe he starts asking about how life’s been treating you. He might ask about how your personal goals are going. He might even just straight-up ask if you’re seeing anyone new!
These questions could come from anything from curiosity or friendship – not necessarily romance. Just because he’s interested in your life doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be a part of it. It just means that he cares for you as a person, and not just as the mother of his children.
Of course, if he seems to be focused on your dating life… there’s very little room for doubt!
He Isn’t Comfortable with You Dating Someone Else
Even if the two of you aren’t dating anymore, you’ve still got a unique relationship with your baby daddy – the two of you did have a child together, after all!
Your baby daddy might ask you if you’re seeing anyone now. It’s a perfectly normal question to ask your exes (though maybe hold asking for a few months after the split!).
Pay close attention to their response, though.
If your baby daddy is really over you, they won’t be very invested in your answer. They’d shake it off with a nod and leave you be, occasionally with some parting words or criticism.
If they aren’t truly over you, they might respond in more emotional ways.
Your baby daddy might express relief if you aren’t dating anyone new now. If you are, they might make their displeasure clear. They might be annoyed about how quickly you’ve moved on (no matter how long it has actually been!) or skeptical if your current partner is worthy of you.
No matter what, you can easily tell how the answers above got to him.
Something to Remember
Do keep in mind that this may not necessarily be love. It could just be possessiveness, worry, or simple doubt making them act out. Just because your baby daddy isn’t happy about you dating someone new doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together with you.
He’s Working Hard to Become a Better Person
Your baby daddy might be working hard to be a better person than he was during your relationship. That’s good for everyone – especially your kids!
The type of mistakes they’re correcting might cue you in on who they’re trying to impress here.
If they’re trying to improve on a general basis (i.e. cultivating more patience and kindness) or learning skills for the family (i.e. practicing diaper changes, financial budgeting) they’re doing this out of love for the family you have together.
You don’t need romantic motivation to be a good dad.
If they’re trying to improve on things that troubled your relationship back then (i.e. poor communication, irresponsibility) it’s possible that they’re trying to impress you as well! It shows that he wants to meet or even exceed the standards he struggled with in the past.
That’s a wonderful thing, but he needs to understand that you and the kids are a package deal. He can’t just woo you while shirking his responsibilities to his kids.
He needs to become a better person for everyone – not just a better romantic partner for you. Anything less than that would be unfair to both you (as a parent) and the children you had together.
There are a few clear signs that your baby daddy may still love you – just don’t assume that all of these are romantic in nature. They might just want to stay friends or remain a part of your life.
That said, there’s nothing wrong with getting back together with your baby daddy. Just make sure that they can give this family the importance it deserves. They can’t just ignore the children they had, as that’d be irresponsible and unfair – not only to you but also to the kids they fathered!