Let’s just say it: Motherhood can chew you up, spit you out, and ask you to mop the floor afterwards.
Even the best of us sometimes fantasize about running away to a quiet cave—with reliable Wi-Fi, naturally.
The idea of “me time”? Sounds nice. Feels impossible.
But here’s the kicker: carving out time for yourself isn’t self-indulgent, nor is it a unicorn-level fantasy. It’s the secret ingredient for being the best mum you can be.
Here’s why finding space for yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
You’re Not Just a Mum, You’re Still You
Once you become a parent, your identity doesn’t get replaced by a certificate that says “Chief Snack Fetcher and Cuddler-in-Chief.”
You’re still you, just with more responsibilities (and possibly a bit more glitter in your hair than you’d prefer). Stepping away from the baby wipes and endless errands gives your brain a chance to remember who you are beyond the “mum” badge.
Psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, author of “Mommy Burnout,” says that women who make time for themselves have stronger senses of self and are less likely to feel overwhelmed by their parenting roles.
That doesn’t mean booking a week in Bali (unless you’ve cracked the code to affordable childcare—please share); even ten minutes with a cuppa and a good book can remind you that you’re still in there somewhere.
Self-Care Isn’t a Meme, It’s Science
You know all those articles promising that bubble baths will solve mum guilt? They’re only half-joking.
Research shows that mothers who engage in regular self-care experience lower levels of anxiety and depression. One Australian study found that mothers who rated their own wellbeing higher were more emotionally available to their children.
Self-care isn’t just for Instagram. It’s real, and it’s powerful.
Don’t fancy a bubble bath? That’s fine. Self-care is as individual as your coffee order.
Maybe it’s painting your toenails, going for a brisk walk, or hiding in the pantry nibbling chocolate buttons (no judgment). The point is: self-care is a habit, not a one-off event.
Absence Really Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder
Ever notice how your children seem a bit more adorable after you’ve had a break from them? That’s not just nostalgia kicking in—it’s your nervous system catching its breath.
Stepping away, even briefly, helps you reset emotionally. Suddenly, the sound of your toddler’s shriek isn’t quite as alarming as a fire alarm.
Psychologists call this “psychological detachment,” which basically means letting yourself clock out from parenting for a bit.
A short stroll, ten minutes of meditation, or even a scroll through those memes you used to love pre-motherhood can help.
The result? You come back less frazzled, more patient, and (maybe) with fewer murderous fantasies about Peppa Pig.
You’re Modelling Healthy Boundaries
Children are always watching. And—apologies—they remember everything (except where they left their school shoes).
When you prioritise your own needs sometimes, you’re teaching your kids an invaluable life lesson: boundaries matter.
People are allowed to take breaks. Mums aren’t robots.
According to experts, children of parents who model healthy boundaries are more likely to develop resilience and empathy.
By saying, “Mum needs a minute,” you’re showing your child that it’s normal to care for yourself and to ask for space when you need it.
Stress Less, Snap Less
Snapping at the kids for breathing too loudly? You’re not alone.
Stress is a subtle operator, and it sneaks up on mums faster than a toddler left unsupervised with a marker. The more stressed you are, the more likely you are to react with frustration or impatience.
Taking time for yourself helps regulate your stress hormones, as confirmed by research from the American Psychological Association
. Lower stress means you’re less likely to turn into “Shouty Mum,” and more likely to respond with humour, empathy, or at least a deep sigh and an eye roll.
You Can’t Pour From an Empty Teapot
Every mum’s heard this one, but it’s worth revisiting—especially on days when you feel like a walking slice of burnt toast. You have emotional reserves, and they need refilling regularly.
When you don’t, resentment and exhaustion creep in, leaving very little left for the tiny people you love.
By investing in your own wellbeing, you’re ensuring you have something left to give.
Even airline safety briefings agree: put your own oxygen mask on first. (Although, if you’re reading this from somewhere with a more poetic metaphor than “oxygen mask,” substitute accordingly.)
Connection With Your Partner? Remember Them?
Partners often get a bit lost in the shuffle of nappies, deadlines, and laundry mountains. Making time for yourself can reignite your connection as a couple.
When you’re not running on empty, it’s easier to remember why you chose them in the first place (besides their superior nappy changing skills).
Experts agree that parents who take breaks—both individually and as a couple—report higher relationship satisfaction. Even if it’s just watching a show together after the kids go to bed, it still counts.
And if you both get “me time,” you’re less likely to start keeping score over who’s changed more nappies this week.
Me Time Doesn’t Have to Mean Alone Time
Introverts and extroverts, unite (separately)!
Some mums crave solitude, others want a quick catch-up with friends. “Me time” is whatever leaves you feeling lighter, not heavier. For some, that’s a solo jog; for others, a chat with a mate or a group yoga class.
Research from Harvard underscores the importance of adult friendships for wellbeing. If you can combine social time with self-care (coffee and cake, anyone?), you get double points.
How to Actually Get Me Time—Without Guilt
Easier said than done, right? The guilt is real.
Here’s the thing: guilt is not a badge of honour. It’s a sign your priorities are out of whack.
If you need permission, here it is: you deserve time for yourself.
Start small and practical. Put a ten-minute “mum meeting” on the calendar a few times a week.
Trade childcare with a friend, or set up a “quiet hour” where everyone rests or plays independently (yes, even if that means extra screen time sometimes).
If your kids are old enough, explain that “mum is taking a break so she can be nicer.” Works like magic.
And for the tiny ones? Pop them in a playpen with that musical toy they adore (the one you despise), and make a cup of tea. The world won’t end.
You’ll Remember the Fun Bits (And So Will Your Kids)
When you carve out moments for yourself, you return refreshed.
The result: parenting feels a bit less like a never-ending to-do list and more like a series of moments—some stressful, but also plenty that are genuinely fun. Memories are made when you’re present, not frazzled.
Children thrive when their parents are engaged and happy. They might not remember that every meal was organic or that you ironed their school uniforms (no one’s giving out medals for that, by the way).
What sticks are the silly dances in the kitchen, the bedtime stories read with silly voices, the afternoons spent together when you weren’t mentally compiling tomorrow’s shopping list.
Me Time Is a Gift You Give the Whole Family
You’re not just doing this for you. Well, partly you are (and you should be!).
But you’re also doing it for your partner, your kids, your friends, and anyone else who benefits from a happier, calmer, more fulfilled you. A mother who regularly recharges is a mother who can give her best—without running herself ragged.
Will your family notice you’re taking a bit more time for yourself? Maybe. Will they appreciate the happier, less stressed version of you? Absolutely.
And, frankly, you deserve to like yourself at the end of the day, too.
Raising the Bar—By Sitting Down
Here’s the truth: “me time” doesn’t mean you’re failing your kids. It means you’re loving them fiercely—by loving yourself, too.
Whether it’s a brisk walk, a silly dance, a solitary cuppa, or simply ten minutes behind a locked bathroom door, your time matters.
So, go on—claim your corner of peace, and watch everyone around you blossom. Even if you’re only hiding from the endless requests for snacks (again).
You’re already a great mum. A little time to yourself just makes you even better.
