Ever found yourself scrolling Instagram with one hand, microwaving last night’s leftovers with the other, and answering a barrage of “Mum, mum, mum!” all at the same time?
Congratulations, you’re living the multitasking dream—if your dream involves a constant ringing in your ears and the quiet suspicion you’re missing the best bits of your child’s life.
The quest to be a more present mom isn’t about perfection or somehow channeling Mary Poppins. It’s about tuning in—when it counts—to the people you love most.
Here’s how you can do just that.
1. Carve Out Device-Free Moments
We’re not monsters. No one’s suggesting you give up your phone entirely (who else would reply to the WhatsApp group at 2 a.m. about tomorrow’s bake sale?).
The trick is to create small pockets of time every day where screens are put away—and you’re not just pretending while you secretly check the group chat under the table.
Research has shown that even the mere presence of a phone during family interactions can reduce the quality of conversation and the feeling of connectedness. Imagine what happens when you’re actually looking at your phone.
Set some clear “tech-free zones” or times—meal tables, bedtime stories, five minutes after pickup from school—whatever fits your schedule.
Announce it to the household, make it official, and watch how your child’s stories grow more detailed when your eyes aren’t darting down to notifications.
If your brain immediately protests (“But what if work calls?”), remember: short, scheduled breaks from technology are not going to derail your career. They might even save your sanity.
2. Give Your Full Attention—in Small Bursts
No one expects you to lock eyes with your child for hours on end like some sort of intense staring contest. The secret weapon here is quality, not quantity.
Even brief periods of undivided attention make children feel truly seen.
When your kid comes at you with a Lego creation or a tale about the world’s most boring maths test, pause what you’re doing—even if it’s just for two minutes. Face them, listen, react, ask a question.
This kind of attention is like emotional oxygen for kids. According to child development experts, children whose parents offer bursts of genuine attention show higher self-esteem and fewer behaviour problems down the road.
If your schedule is tighter than a toddler’s grip on a biscuit, start with “special time”—ten minutes a day that belongs to your child. No distractions, no multitasking, just the two of you.
You’ll be amazed at how much connection can fit into those minutes—sort of like how many raisins you can find in the sofa cushions.
3. Slow Down the Routine
Busy parents are experts at efficiency—sometimes to a fault. Before you know it, breakfast has become a Formula One pit stop, and bedtime is a tactical military operation.
But presence and speed rarely go hand-in-hand. Try building in micro-pauses during everyday routines.
For example, linger over a cuddle before the school run. Ask a question about your child’s day while brushing their hair. Sing along (badly) to their favourite song in the car.
These aren’t extra activities—they’re reimagined versions of what you’re already doing.
A University of Washington study on family rituals found that children who participate in meaningful daily routines with parents feel more secure and report higher emotional wellbeing.
The good news: making toast together while discussing whether cats have feelings absolutely counts.
If you’re worried about falling behind schedule, don’t. Five minutes here and there to genuinely connect can make the difference between “Wasn’t she always on her phone?” and “Remember those silly songs in the car?”
4. Get Comfortable With Boredom—Yours and Theirs
This one takes a bit of getting used to. In the age of constant stimulation, silence or idle time can feel like wasted time. Here’s a radical idea: it’s not.
Allow your child—and yourself—to have moments of “nothing in particular.” Waiting at the doctor’s office? No need to whip out YouTube or endless snacks.
Sitting together in companionable silence, noticing the world around you, can be surprisingly connecting.
Child psychologists suggest that boredom helps children develop creativity and problem-solving skills. And for parents, resisting the urge to fill every lull with busyness or productivity can be an act of presence itself.
You’re showing your child that their company is enough, without the need for constant entertainment or stimulation.
If you catch yourself itching to check your email every time there’s a lull, try a mindfulness trick. Notice the colour of your child’s shoes or count how many curly fries are left on the plate.
Tiny acts like these ground you in the present—and your kids will pick up on that calm, even if you’re quietly longing for caffeine.
5. Apologise and Repair When You Zone Out
Even the most committed, yoga-posing, Waldorf-doll-making mum will drift off mentally from time to time. Maybe you answered in grunts while thinking about work emails, or you missed a crucial plot twist in your child’s never-ending story about Minecraft.
Here’s the good news: presence isn’t about never getting distracted. It’s about what you do next.
When you realise you’ve been on autopilot, acknowledge it. Apologise for not listening, and ask your child to start again if they want to.
This simple act models humility and respect, and it teaches your child that relationships are about connection, not perfection.
Research on parent-child relationships shows that “rupture and repair” (i.e., acknowledging when you’ve checked out and making amends) builds trust and resilience in children.
Your child learns that everyone makes mistakes—and that reconnecting is always possible.
Resist the urge to make a grand show of guilt. A quick “Sorry, I zoned out—can you repeat that bit about the dragon?” is enough.
Your child probably didn’t notice, but if they did, this moment of honesty brings you right back to them.
Making Presence Your Superpower
Showing up for your children doesn’t mean being available every second, or transforming into some unflappable zen master.
It’s these small, intentional habits—turning off the phone, listening fully, slowing the pace, embracing boredom, making amends—that add up to the kind of presence kids remember.
Next time you’re tempted to multitask through a “Mum, watch this!” moment, try just…watching.
You might just see something wonderful—maybe even yourself, right there in the thick of it, being exactly the mum your child needs.
