Parenting in the 90s: an era of cassette tapes, landlines, and parents who could recite their kids’ friends’ home numbers by heart.
Back then, discipline didn’t come with a side of apps or mindfulness mantras. It was practical, often straightforward, and—believe it or not—pretty effective.
Some of those old-school approaches have been collecting dust while we chase the latest parenting trends. Maybe it’s time to rummage through the attic and give them another spin.
1. The “Natural Consequences” Method
Once upon a time, parents let natural consequences do a bit of the heavy lifting. No, not the “let them touch the hot stove” approach (we’re not monsters), but a gentle step back to let reality teach lessons.
Picture this: eight-year-old Jamie refuses to wear a coat. Mum suggests it’s chilly, but Jamie’s certain a t-shirt will suffice for the school run.
Rather than launching into a fifteen-minute debate or bribing with hot cocoa, Mum shrugs and grabs the coat just in case. Fast forward: Jamie’s shivering at pickup, and that coat is suddenly the hottest item since Beanie Babies. Lesson learned.
Turns out, natural consequences can be more memorable than any long-winded lecture. When children experience the results of their choices (within safe boundaries, obviously), they start to connect the dots between actions and outcomes.
Experts like Dr. Laura Markham have pointed out that this approach helps kids develop responsibility and problem-solving skills, because they’re allowed to experience the everyday “cause and effect” of their decisions.
What does this look like in modern life? If your child “forgets” their lunch for the fourth time this term, resist the urge to fly in with a rescue delivery every single occasion.
Once or twice, let them feel a little grumbly by the afternoon. Hunger is a powerful reminder.
Of course, the trick lies in knowing when to step back. Safety trumps all. But for everyday blunders—forgotten sports kit, an unfinished art project, a lost library book—natural consequences can do wonders.
There’s no shouting, no threats. Just a calm, “Looks like you’ll need to borrow from lost property today,” and a raised eyebrow.
Sometimes, that’s all it takes.
2. The Art of the Non-Reaction
Back in the day, parents had a secret weapon: selective deafness. Eye-rolling, dramatic sighs, and stomping feet were met with all the enthusiasm one might reserve for the fifth rerun of a weather forecast.
This trick isn’t about ignoring your child (as tempting as that may sound after hour three of a whinge-fest). It’s about refusing to fuel the drama.
When every minor complaint or defiant outburst got a response, kids quickly learned how to push buttons. But when parents offered a neutral “Hmm” or a nonchalant “Oh, is that so?”, the excitement fizzled faster than you could say “Game Boy.”
Modern parenting research agrees with this approach. According to child psychologist Dr. Alan Kazdin, kids often repeat challenging behaviors because those get the biggest reactions.
Pulling the plug on your Oscar-worthy performance can help dial down attention-seeking antics.
How does this play out at home? Your eight-year-old dramatically announces that you are, in fact, the worst parent ever for not allowing dessert before dinner.
Instead of joining the performance, you simply say, “Dessert’s after dinner. Let me know when you’re ready to join us at the table.” And then, move on. No eye contact, no lecture, no emotional payoff.
The goal isn’t to shut your child out. You’re simply refusing to reward melodrama. Later, when they’re calm and ready to talk, you can reconnect.
But in the heat of the moment, less is often more. Save your energy for the stuff that matters—like finding your keys or remembering where you parked the car at the supermarket.
3. The Family Meeting (With Actual Kid Input)
Long before “collaborative problem-solving” became a phrase you’d find on glossy parenting blogs, family meetings were the unsung heroes of household order.
These weren’t just boardroom-style snooze-fests. In the 90s, family meetings were the closest thing many kids got to running a democracy—complete with eye rolls, passionate speeches, and the occasional plea for increased pocket money.
Why did they work? Because giving kids a seat at the table (sometimes literally), made them feel heard.
Research from the University of Minnesota shows that kids given a voice in family decisions are more likely to follow the rules they help create.
There’s something magic about a child seeing their idea written on a whiteboard, right alongside the grown-ups’ suggestions.
How do you resurrect the family meeting without it turning into a hostage situation? Keep it short, sweet, and focused.
Once a week (pizza night works wonders), gather everyone. Set an agenda: chores, screen time, who finished the biscuits without telling anyone (it was you, admit it).
Here’s the 90s twist: Let the kids suggest solutions. They want more screen time? Ask how they’ll balance it with schoolwork. Someone’s refusing to do dishes? Let them rotate with another job.
When children help build the system, they’re far more likely to buy in. Sure, you might hear some bonkers ideas (“No baths ever!”), but you’ll also be surprised by their creativity and fairness.
Don’t shy away from humour. Family meetings are the perfect time for inside jokes and gentle ribbing. If the dog gets more votes than Dad, well, them’s the breaks.
Why These Tricks Still Work
Wondering why these 90s methods have stuck around in the background while newer, shinier techniques have grabbed the spotlight? They rely on one simple principle: respect for your child’s growing independence.
Instead of micromanaging every mess and meltdown, these tricks encourage kids to think for themselves, recover from mistakes, and make their voices heard.
You don’t have to toss out everything you’ve learned from books or parenting podcasts. Still, a sprinkle of these tried-and-true techniques can offer a bit of relief on the rough days.
No colour-coded charts or behaviour-tracking apps required.
Reclaiming Sanity, 90s-Style
Parenting has always been a bit of a circus—clown cars, juggling acts, and the occasional lion taming. Sometimes the oldest tricks are the ones worth keeping around.
Next time your child is determined to learn the hard way, or drama is threatening to take over the living room, remember the wisdom of parents who survived dial-up internet and TV with only five channels.
Offer a natural consequence. Keep your poker face sharp. Invite your little ones to the negotiation table.
And don’t forget—if all else fails, there’s always a mixtape and a closed bathroom door. Some tricks never go out of style.
