Perfection in parenting is a myth. Still, that doesn’t stop us from chasing it like a toddler after a biscuit.
If you’ve ever found yourself sweating over snack aesthetics or Googling “is it safe for a three-year-old to eat a raisin that’s been on the floor for four seconds,” you might be aiming for an impossible standard.
Here’s how to spot the signs—and more importantly, what to do before you lose your marbles (or your sense of humour).
1. You Schedule Play Like a Military Operation
Colour-coded calendars are great—if you’re launching a rocket or managing a state visit.
But if your family diary looks like a cross between the Gantt chart for building the Sydney Opera House and the daily roster at the Queen’s household, it’s possible things have got a little intense.
Structured activities are brilliant for skill development. Still, kids thrive on unscheduled, messy, nothing-special time.
A study from the University of Colorado found that children with more free play develop better self-directed executive function—meaning they’re more likely to become the kind of adults who can, you know, find their own socks.
Try this: Cancel one “enrichment” activity this week and let your child complain about being bored. Boredom is the gateway to creativity.
Worst case, they’ll invent a new game that involves sliding down the stairs on a pillow. (Just put a mattress at the bottom and call it ‘risk management’.)
2. Every Meal Is an Instagram-Worthy Event
Ah, the pressure of feeding little humans. If you’re hand-spiralising courgette to make dinosaur nests or turning sandwiches into the cast of Bluey, you might be spending more time on presentation than feeding.
A certain social media network (you know the one) is packed with edible art, but most kids would trade their avocado rose for a plain cheese toastie in a heartbeat.
According to The Healthy Eating Clinic, the focus should be on variety and exposure, not perfection. It’s normal for kids to reject new foods and to love pasta with butter for three months straight. (Frankly, who doesn’t?)
Tonight, serve up a “deconstructed dinner.” Chicken, rice, and peas, each in their own heap, no faces required.
If this feels like a moral failing, remember: Picasso didn’t have a bento box.
3. You’re the Family Paparazzi
Are there more photos of your child’s first day at nursery than there are family photos from your own childhood? Is your phone storage a graveyard for identical snaps of “smiling at the zoo,” “smiling at the beach,” and “smiling while refusing to wear shoes?”
Capturing memories is lovely, but living behind the lens can make you miss the actual moments.
A psychological study found that taking too many pictures can actually impair your recall of an event. Essentially, the more you snap, the less you may actually experience.
Test this: Next outing, pocket your device for half an hour. Play, laugh, get grubby.
The mental snapshots last longer, and there’s no risk of accidentally recording an embarrassing soundtrack.
4. You Apologise for Your Child Being a Human
The playground is not a boardroom, and yet, some of us find ourselves issuing apologies left and right.
“Sorry Timmy only said hello three times, he’s usually very friendly!” “Sorry the baby is teething—she’s never screamed this loudly before!” (She absolutely has.)
If you’re on constant damage control, it might be time to cut yourself—and your child—some slack.
Kids are unpredictable. They spill, melt down, say the most mortifying things in public, and sometimes they just don’t want to share.
That’s normal, not a reflection of parental failure.
An expert suggests modelling self-compassion. A gentle “He’s having a tough moment, but we’re working through it” beats a grovelling apology every time.
Your real job isn’t to raise a perfectly polished mini-adult; it’s to help your child learn to recover and try again.
Tonight, when your little one inevitably does something mortifying at the dinner table, smile and carry on. The Queen probably wouldn’t blink at a bit of gravy on the tablecloth, and neither should you.
5. Self-Care Is a Foreign Concept
If “me time” sounds like a luxury reserved for people who own more than one set of matching socks, this one’s for you.
Many parents fall into the trap of thinking that sacrificing every need is synonymous with love. But running on empty leads to being snappy, overwhelmed, and (let’s be honest) not much fun to be around.
A survey by the American Psychological Association found that parents who carve out even small pockets of personal time report lower stress levels and a better sense of well-being.
You don’t need a spa day in Bali. Ten minutes with a book, a hot cuppa, or a walk around the block can do wonders.
Tonight, try something radical: announce you’re off-duty for ten minutes.
Put on headphones and ignore the “Mum! Mum! Mum!” chorus—unless it’s genuinely urgent (bleeding, fire, or discovering the dog has eaten a whole block of cheddar).
Perfectly Imperfect, Always Enough
No child remembers the shape of their sandwich. They remember giggles, cuddles, and that time Mum set off the smoke alarm trying to make pancakes.
Parenting isn’t about flawless management—it’s the wobbly, warm, wonderfully ordinary moments that stick.
Embrace the mess. Say goodbye to the “perfect parent” myth and hello to the good-enough parent: the one who sometimes serves cereal for tea and calls it a day.
Who puts the camera down and gives the best bear hugs. Who models kindness to themselves and to their kids.
You’re already doing better than you think.
The only gold star worth chasing? The one your kid gives you in the form of a sticky, spontaneous cuddle.
Keep showing up, imperfectly—and laugh whenever you can. That’s the real parenting win.
