If you’ve ever found yourself in a supermarket, clutching a toddler in one hand and a half-melted packet of fish fingers in the other, questioning your life choices—well, this list is for you.
When “me time” means hiding in the loo with your phone, grabbing even a few pages from the right book can feel like a sanity-saving miracle.
Here are five books that just might help you laugh again, breathe easier, and maybe even enjoy the glorious circus that is parenting.
1. How Not to Lose Your Sh*t with Your Kids by Carla Naumburg, PhD
No one dreams of becoming that parent—the one hissing through gritted teeth, “Put. The. Shoes. On. Now!”
The beauty of Carla Naumburg’s book is that she doesn’t pretend we’re all going to morph into serene, sandal-wearing zen masters overnight. Far from it.
Naumburg admits she’s lost it herself—more than once. Her research-backed strategies are no-nonsense and, blessedly, short.
She offers practical steps to keep your temper in check, even when your child has just drawn a mural on your living room wall. If you’ve got just three minutes before someone yells “Muuum!” again, you’ll still get a helpful tip.
What makes this book stand out is its candor. Naumburg sprinkles wit through her advice, so you’ll laugh as you learn.
Most importantly, she gives you permission to be imperfect. Your child won’t need therapy just because you occasionally shout about socks.
Try this tonight: When you feel the red mist rising, Naumburg suggests pressing pause—even if it means locking yourself in the loo for a moment. Then ask yourself: “Am I about to lose my sh*t?”
If the answer is yes, take three breaths. Simple, but surprisingly effective.
2. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry
Imagine if someone handed you a manual not just for parenting, but for understanding your entire family tree. Philippa Perry’s empathetic, insightful book is a warm hug in paperback form.
She gently encourages parents to look at their own childhoods, reframing patterns so that—miracle of miracles—you don’t end up repeating the same mistakes.
There’s no shaming, just practical exercises and thought experiments.
Perry’s approach is rooted in compassion and realism. She shows how small moments of connection (even after a terrible day) can heal and strengthen the bond with your child.
This isn’t about “fixing” your kids or yourself overnight. Instead, Perry focuses on understanding why you react the way you do, and how to change course—one conversation at a time.
Try this tonight: Perry recommends admitting when you’re wrong and saying sorry to your child, even if it feels awkward. It models humility and builds trust—plus, it instantly lowers the temperature after a meltdown.
3. Mum, What’s Wrong With You? by Lorraine Candy
If you’ve ever been side-eyed by a teenager while being told your outfit is “embarrassing,” or dared to ask about their day only to receive a grunted “fine,” Lorraine Candy gets you.
This refreshingly honest memoir-meets-survival-guide from a former editor of Elle and The Sunday Times Style is aimed at parents navigating the teenage years—but honestly, anyone with a preteen or a child who already has Opinions™ will find gold here.
Candy doesn’t offer perfect solutions. Instead, she dishes out solidarity and gallows humor in spades, alongside hard-won advice drawn from raising four kids while working a high-powered job.
What makes this book stand out is its unapologetic realness. There are no rose-tinted glasses, just a brutally funny, reassuring reminder that parenting older kids doesn’t mean losing your mind—or your identity.
She writes like your smartest friend who’s seen it all and isn’t afraid to say, “Yeah, this bit sucks—but you’re not alone.”
Try this tonight: When your child rolls their eyes for the 47th time today, take Candy’s advice: Don’t take it personally. It’s their brain rewiring itself, not a comment on your worth.
Pour a glass of something cold and text another parent, “Still alive. You?” Connection counts.
4. Self-Compassion for Parents by Susan M. Pollak, EdD
If “self-care” sounds like a punchline rather than a possibility, Susan Pollak’s book may be the gentle nudge you need.
Pollak is a psychologist with decades of experience, and her book is packed with mindfulness tools tailored for parents completely out of steam.
She gets it—sometimes, the only chance to meditate is while hiding in the car, pretending to look for your keys.
Pollak’s techniques are bite-sized and zero-pressure. She weaves in relatable stories (including her own parenting fails) and builds up to simple exercises that help you notice your feelings without drowning in them.
Science backs her up: Teaching yourself compassion actually helps your kids learn resilience. Plus, self-compassionate parents are less likely to collapse in a puddle at the sight of a spilled cup of juice.
Try this tonight: Place a hand on your heart and say something kind to yourself—out loud if you dare. “This is really hard. I’m doing my best.”
If that feels ridiculous, whisper it into your pillow. It works.
5. The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl
Somehow, Danish parents have cracked the code: Happy kids, calm households, a national obsession with candles.
This book distils the Danish approach into six simple principles that sound almost suspiciously achievable—think more play, less helicoptering, and an emphasis on empathy.
Alexander and Sandahl draw from decades of research on Danish culture and their own parenting journeys.
Their message: Kids don’t need perfection, they need “hygge”—cosy togetherness—and parents who aren’t glued to their phones.
You’ll learn how to set gentle boundaries, foster independence, and create a home where everyone feels safe to share their feelings. The examples are relatable and, best of all, easy to adapt for your own brood.
Try this tonight: Create a five-minute “hygge” ritual. Maybe it’s a bedtime story by candlelight, a cuddle on the sofa, or—if spirits are low—a family dance party.
No special skills or Pinterest crafts required.
When You Need to Feel a Bit More Human
Burnout isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. If anything, it means you care—possibly too much sometimes.
The right book won’t erase your exhaustion, but it can help you see the funny side, shed some guilt, and try something new with your kids (or at least, not accidentally lock yourself in the bathroom forever).
Every one of these authors has been through the wringer and lived to tell the tale. There’s no badge for perfect parenting, but there’s definitely a secret handshake for those who’ve survived it with their sense of humour intact.
Here’s to imperfect parents everywhere. Now, if anyone asks, you’re “reading for self-improvement.” (Even if it’s with one eye open and a cold cuppa at your side.)
