Parenting, as any expert will tell you, is partly a marathon, partly a series of sprints, and occasionally feels like an obstacle course that includes actual banana peels.
Finding time for grand displays of affection? Lovely, but laughably rare between snack requests and laundry mountains.
The good news: tiny, consistent moments of love matter far more than any Instagram-worthy gesture.
Here are 18 ways busy parents can sneak in genuine affection and connection—even on days when getting everyone’s shoes on feels like a group project.
1. Eye Contact, Not Just iContact
The next time your child calls your name (for the ninth time in two minutes), try pausing to look them in the eyes. This doesn’t require a musical montage—just a beat or two of true attention.
Children who receive regular eye contact from their parents feel more seen and valued, according to child development researchers. Plus, it helps you actually remember what on earth they were saying about that cartoon slug.
2. One-Minute Hugs, No Timer Needed
A quick squeeze can do wonders, but if you have 60 seconds, hold on for longer.
Extended hugs release oxytocin, which can help kids regulate their emotions and even improve your own mood. If you get a giggle or two during the process, count that as bonus points.
3. The Compliment Sandwich (But Hold the Cheese)
Notice something specific and say it out loud: “I saw how you shared your toys with your sister. That was really kind.” Genuine praise, especially when it’s about effort or character rather than appearance, nurtures self-esteem.
Even the grumpiest child can’t resist a sincere compliment (though they might pretend to).
4. Secret Handshakes, Passwords, or Silly Codes
Invent a goofy handshake or a code word that means “I love you.” These rituals give kids a sense of belonging and shared adventure, and they’ve been shown to strengthen family bonds. Plus, it offers a built-in giggle during the school run.
5. Snail Mail, Even If It’s Just a Sticky Note
Pop a little note in their lunchbox or backpack. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare—“You’re my favourite human named Max” will do. Unexpected reminders of your affection can brighten even the most Monday-ish Monday.
6. Bedtime Recaps with a Twist
Instead of the classic “How was your day?”, try asking about their high and low points, or invent a nightly routine where you each share one thing you loved and one thing that made you groan.
This keeps the conversation fresh and builds trust, especially as kids get older and monosyllabic.
7. Say Yes to Play, Even For Five Minutes
When your child invites you to build yet another Lego spacecraft or host an impromptu dance party, say yes whenever you can. Even a few minutes of undivided playtime communicates: “You matter to me.”
According to Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, responsive, shared play is rocket fuel for emotional connection.
8. Morning Greetings That Actually Greet
A proper “Good morning” with a smile (even if you haven’t seen the underside of your own eyelids long enough) sets the tone for the day. A quick ruffle of their hair or a silly voice counts double. The effort is small, the impact surprisingly large.
9. Apologise Like You Mean It
Messed up? Welcome to the club. A sincere apology—“I snapped, and I shouldn’t have”—models humility and respect.
Kids might not say much in the moment, but a thoughtful apology lets them know adults value their feelings.
10. Share Something Silly About Yourself
Tell them about the time you wore odd socks to work, or how you once called your teacher ‘Mum’. Sharing your foibles makes you more relatable and helps kids feel safe sharing their own little disasters.
11. Inside Jokes Are Family Gold
Those weird in-jokes and recurring silly stories? They’re not just nonsense—they’re glue. Shared humour has been found to increase family resilience and closeness.
If your child groans at your puns, you’re doing it right.
12. Listen Like You’re Taking Notes
Put down your phone—yes, even mid-email—and listen to their story about the purple dragon and the talking sandwich. Active listening doesn’t just make them feel important, it encourages them to keep opening up as they grow.
13. Little Acts of Service (Without a Trumpet Fanfare)
Fill their water bottle, warm their favourite blanket, or quietly fix that loose button. These tiny gestures say “I love you” in a language children understand, even if they pretend not to notice.
14. Celebrate The Small Wins
Did they put on both socks the right way? Remembered their library book? Survived a spelling test? Let them know you noticed.
Celebration doesn’t require a parade—a high five or a little cheer goes a long way.
15. Be Their Safe Place When They Melt Down
When your child’s emotions go volcanic, resist the urge to fix everything. Sometimes, just being physically present and calm is the most loving thing you can do.
According to clinical psychologists, kids need to feel safe expressing big feelings, even ugly ones.
16. Make Time for One-on-One Moments
If you have more than one child, sneaking away for ten minutes with each (even if it’s just sitting together eating a biscuit) can work wonders. Sibling rivalry takes a back seat when everyone gets a bit of dedicated parent time.
17. Share Family Stories (The Good, The Bad, and The Embarrassing)
Tell tales about when you were their age, or stories about relatives they never met. Children who know their family stories have greater self-esteem and resilience.
Don’t be afraid to include the awkward bits—those are usually the best ones.
18. Say “I Love You”—And Mean It
Obvious? Maybe. But sometimes we get so caught up in the day’s logistics that the three most important words become an afterthought.
Say it in the morning, at school drop-off, at bedtime, in a text, or even scribbled in ketchup. Just say it.
Love in the Cracks of Everyday Life
There’s no such thing as the perfect parent. Anyone who claims otherwise is probably lying or hasn’t tried to get a toddler into a car seat during a rainstorm.
The truth is, love lives in the cracks of daily life: the quick smile, the extra biscuit, the whispered “I’m proud of you” when it looks like no one’s watching.
Busy days are normal, but showing love doesn’t have to wait for holidays or milestones. Small, regular acts of affection stack up to create a sense of security and belonging that lasts far beyond childhood.
If you tried even two of these ideas tonight, you’d be nailing it—and your child will feel it, even if their way of saying thanks is just an eye roll and a “Muuuum!” That’s love, too.
