Ever glance wistfully at a photo of an Amish family—children in bonnets, toddlers playing quietly, everyone gathered around the dinner table—and wonder if “calm parenting” is just a myth from a simpler world?
Between the notifications, the messes, and the constant background hum of modern life, calm can feel like an endangered species.
The Amish, though, have managed to bottle a certain serenity that busy parents everywhere crave.
Their secret sauce? It’s less about living without electricity and more about timeless habits, mindsets, and priorities that work in any postcode.
Turns out, you don’t have to churn your own butter to bring a bit of Amish calm into your home.
Ready for the good stuff? Amish wisdom, with a side of modern reality (and zero requirement to wear suspenders).
1. Prioritize Presence Over Presents
Ever notice how Amish children seem remarkably content with a wooden block and a smile? Their parents aren’t frantically searching for the latest gadget.
Amish culture prizes presence—real, engaged, eye-contact-laden presence—over material gifts.
You don’t need to boycott the toy aisle. Simply carve out a window of undivided attention each day, even if it’s just ten minutes.
Put down the phone. Sit on the floor. Play, listen, and be “all in.”
Children thrive on this connection, and it works wonders for their moods—yours included.
2. Keep Routines Predictable
The Amish don’t live by Google Calendar, but you’d be hard pressed to find a more routine-driven community. Their days move to a reliable rhythm: chores, meals, rest, repeat.
This predictability is a gift for children, who crave structure (even if they claim otherwise).
Borrow this secret by establishing your own family rhythms. Breakfast at the same time. A bedtime routine that rarely changes.
Predictability helps children feel safe, reducing anxiety and tantrums. And when you know what’s coming next, you’re less likely to lose your own cool.
3. Choose Simplicity Over Overstimulation
Walk into an Amish home, and you won’t find blinking toys, blaring TVs, or enough plastic to stock a small department store. The environment is intentionally calm.
Fewer choices mean fewer meltdowns—science agrees that simplicity helps kids manage their emotions and supports mental development.
Start small. Box up excess toys and rotate a few favorites. Limit background TV or tablet time, especially during meals and before bed.
Calm surroundings breed calm children. Plus, your feet will thank you the next time you don’t step on a rogue LEGO.
4. Model Calm—Even When You’re Faking It
No Amish parent is a saint (unless it’s nap time and the house is silent, and then, sure, maybe). Still, in their world, emotional outbursts from parents are rare.
Children watch their parents for cues: when adults model calm, kids are more likely to imitate.
It’s not about feeling zen 24/7—it’s about showing your child what it looks like to take a breath when you’re frustrated, to speak gently, to pause before reacting. Even fake calm counts.
As child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham explains, the more parents can manage their own stress, the more likely their kids are to regulate themselves.
5. Let Children Contribute Meaningfully
Amish kids don’t just watch their parents work—they’re in the thick of it, fetching eggs, kneading dough, helping siblings. This isn’t child labor, it’s community. Contributing makes children feel valued and capable.
Involve your kids in daily life, at whatever level their age allows. Toddlers can put napkins on the table. School-aged kids can stir the soup or sort laundry.
Tasks with purpose build self-esteem, patience, and—if you’re lucky—gratitude for the effort needed to keep a household running.
6. Limit the Buzz—Technology-Free Zones
Yes, the Amish are the original “no screens” parents, but that doesn’t mean you have to swap your smartphone for a carrier pigeon.
The lesson here is boundaries. Amish homes reserve certain spaces (and times) for connection, not distraction.
Try declaring the dinner table a phone-free zone. Maybe even tuck devices away for half an hour before bedtime.
Research from the American Academy of Pediatrics shows that reducing screen exposure, especially in the evening, helps kids wind down and improves sleep. It’s also a great excuse to ignore emails until the morning.
7. Prioritize Rest Like It’s Sacred
The Amish concept of “rest” isn’t just a Sunday affair. They understand that children (and adults) aren’t machines. Frequent pauses, naps, and a decent bedtime aren’t optional, they’re necessary.
Consider adopting Amish-level respect for sleep. Stick to consistent bedtimes, enforce quiet time even for older kids (books in bed count), and value rest as highly as you do any scheduled activity.
Tired parents and overtired children rarely model calm—unless your idea of calm involves spontaneous weeping.
8. Use Natural Consequences Over Lectures
When an Amish child forgets to bring in the family’s milk pail, there’s no lengthy scolding. The milk is spoiled, and that’s that.
Experiencing the result of their actions (or inaction) teaches far more than a lecture ever could.
Invite natural consequences to do the heavy lifting. If your child refuses to wear a raincoat, let them feel a little soggy. No need for an “I told you so”—the weather handles that for you.
This approach fosters independence and reduces power struggles (and the urge to channel your inner judge and jury).
9. Embrace Unstructured Time
Amish children have a schedule, but it’s far from jam-packed. There’s ample time for free play, imagination, and boredom—yes, boredom is encouraged.
Modern research continues to back up the benefits of unstructured play for creativity and emotional regulation.
Resist the urge to fill every spare minute with activities. Let your kids be bored, outside if possible. You’ll be amazed at what they invent with a stick, a stone, and a wild imagination.
And you might find yourself enjoying a cuppa while they’re off in their own world (miracles happen).
10. Stay Anchored to Community
Last but never least, the Amish are famous for their tight-knit communities. Parenting isn’t a solo act—there are always extra hands, fresh bread, or a listening ear nearby.
You might not live in a town where everyone knows your name, but you can still build your own circle. Swap babysitting with a neighbour.
Organise a monthly parents’ night (even if it’s just a shared pizza and a moan about the state of your living room). Support makes you a calmer parent—and happier, too.
Bringing Amish Calm Home
Modern life doesn’t lend itself to churning butter or hand-sewing a wardrobe. Still, the core principles behind Amish calm are surprisingly portable.
Presence instead of presents. Predictable routines. Simple surroundings. Genuine contribution. Boundaries around tech. Deep rest. Natural consequences. Unstructured play. And, above all, community.
You don’t have to change your postcode to bring calm to your parenting game. Just a few tweaks, a bit of intention, and perhaps the occasional deep breath.
Who knows? You might find a smidgen of Lancaster County peace right in your own lounge room—no horse-drawn buggy required.
