Before anyone invents a manual for raising girls who are confident enough to challenge the world (but still ask for a cuddle on a bad day), dads have a starring role.
Not the “fix the wobbly bike” kind, but the everyday, ordinary, marvelously unglamorous stuff—like talking, listening, and showing up, even when their own brains are half mush from work and parental sleep deprivation.
If you’re a dad (or co-parent) dashing between school runs, meetings, and attempting to find that missing sock, this is for you.
Here’s the blueprint for what every strong girl needs to hear from her dad—starting tonight.
You Are Enough—Exactly As You Are
Girls get swamped with “You’d be perfect… if only you were taller, quieter, louder, more agreeable, less bossy, more… whatever.” Dad, your voice can drown out that noise.
Tell her she’s enough. Loudly, softly, over cereal or while stuck in traffic. Not because she’s achieved something, but just by being herself.
Every time you say it, you’re building her shield against a world that will always tell her to be something else.
And yes, say it even when she grumbles about her maths test or the fact that her hair is “all wrong.” Your words don’t have an expiry date.
Mistakes Mean You’re Learning
Perfection is vastly overrated. If you want your daughter to be brave, she needs to see that mistakes aren’t disasters—they’re proof she’s trying.
When she messes up (and she will, because she’s human), remind her that failing is just a sign she’s learning. Share your own embarrassing stories—yes, even that time you locked your keys in the car at the petrol station.
Show her it’s possible to laugh, dust off, and keep going.
A landmark study by Carol Dweck on growth mindset shows that kids who see setbacks as learning opportunities develop more resilience and confidence.
Your willingness to be open about your own missteps will sink in far deeper than any lecture.
Strength Looks All Kinds of Ways
For some, strong means speaking up. For others, it’s sitting quietly with a friend who’s hurting or showing up to the big match, even with butterflies in the belly.
Tell your girl her strength might not look like her best mate’s or the heroine in that Netflix series. Maybe it’s being kind, or stubborn, or just standing her ground.
Strong isn’t a one-size-fits-all t-shirt.
The main thing? Make sure she knows she gets to define her own version of strong—and you’re right there cheering for her, no matter what that looks like.
Your Voice Deserves to Be Heard
Girls are still told, subtly or not, to shrink themselves. They get interrupted, talked over, or told, “Don’t make a fuss.”
Your job is to make sure your daughter knows her voice matters.
Encourage her to speak up—at dinner, in the classroom, on the sports field, and even at home when she thinks you’re being unfair about bedtime. Listen with both ears, not just the one that isn’t scrolling a work email.
A 2020 Harvard University study found that girls with parents who actively listen are more likely to advocate for themselves as adults. It starts with those nightly chats, no matter how rambling.
I’ll Love You No Matter What
Unconditional love: it sounds syrupy, but don’t underestimate its power. Your daughter needs to hear that your love doesn’t depend on her latest report card, goal scored, or the grade for her art project.
Say it when she’s grinning with pride, and especially when she’s slamming the door or on the verge of tears. She’ll test your patience, but your love is the safe harbour she’ll return to—again and again.
And don’t worry, you don’t have to sound like a Hallmark card. Sometimes, “I’m here for you, always,” beats a flowery speech.
You Don’t Need to Fix Everything
Dads are notorious fixers. Broken toy? Out with the super glue. Friendship drama? Ready with a ten-point plan.
But plenty of the time, your daughter doesn’t want you to solve things—she wants you to listen.
Ask if she wants advice or just a sympathetic ear. That simple question can be a revelation (and save you from a passionate speech about playground politics).
Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, writes in her bestselling book that girls who feel heard, not just “fixed,” grow up with stronger emotional intelligence.
Show her you respect her feelings and choices. Even if her latest “emergency” is that her favourite socks are mysteriously missing.
Kindness Is a Kind of Superpower
It’s tempting to focus on grades or goals, but character counts. When you praise your daughter, go beyond “well done” for achievements and spotlight kindness, effort, and empathy.
Point out the quiet victories: helping a mate, standing up for someone, sticking with a tricky puzzle, caring for the family pet (even if it’s just remembering to refill the water bowl).
Research suggests self-esteem blossoms when kids are valued for who they are, not just what they do.
She’ll remember what you say about her heart just as much—if not more—than what you say about her smarts.
You Can Try Anything—And Change Your Mind
Girls often feel pressured to have their life plotted out… at age eleven. Remind her it’s perfectly fine to try something, realise it’s not for her, and walk away.
Piano lessons, coding club, rugby—it’s all fair game.
Backing her up when she wants to try something new, and not making a big deal if she changes tack, teaches her that her choices are her own.
Encouraging experimentation and supporting her pivots builds confidence that sticks.
And yes, let her know that even adults—present company included—are still figuring things out.
Your Body Is Strong and Amazing
From an early age, girls get more messages about how their bodies look than what their bodies can do. Celebrate every scraped knee, every muddy shin, every “Look, Dad!” moment.
Talk about what her body can do—run, jump, dance, swim—not how it looks. Show her by example: take her swimming, toss a ball, go climbing at the park.
Skip the “I need to lose weight” talk and focus on fun, movement, and health.
A study from Common Sense Media found that when parents focus on ability and strength, girls develop healthier body images. Your influence goes further than you think.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Strong doesn’t mean silent suffering. Tell her that asking for help is what brave people do—not a sign of weakness.
Whether it’s maths troubles or friendship squabbles, reaching out shows guts.
Remind her that everyone—yes, even you—has needed help at some point. Admit when you don’t know something and ask her to help you figure it out.
That’s how you show her the real meaning of strength.
The World Needs Girls Like You
Finish every pep talk by reminding your daughter there’s nobody else in the world quite like her. Her ideas, her voice, her quirks—all needed.
And while the world isn’t always kind, reassure her that she can handle it, because she has you in her corner.
Whether she’s dreaming of running the world, writing stories, or just making it through year six science, she’s got what it takes.
Dad, You’re Already Her Hero
You don’t need fancy speeches or Instagram-worthy moments. The single best thing you can do is keep showing up—awkward jokes and all.
She won’t remember every word, but she’ll remember you were there, cheering her on (even if you’re hopeless at French plaits).
Who knows? She might even let you borrow a sock when you lose yours—if you’re lucky.
