Ever wanted to crawl into a cupboard and lock the door, just to get a bit of peace?
If you’re reading this while hiding in the loo, phone clutched in hand, you’re not alone. The soundscape of family life can make even the most unflappable parents feel like their heads are about to pop.
If “too loud” feels about right—emotionally, mentally, physically—this one’s for you.
The Volume Isn’t Just Decibels
Family life is noisy. That’s not news. But when everything feels loud, it’s rarely just the squeaky toys, pinging devices, and shrieking siblings.
Mental noise counts too: the endless to-do list running through your brain, the low-level hum of guilt, even the worry about tomorrow’s packed lunch.
Sensory overload in parents is real, and it’s not just for those with a diagnosis.
Psychologists have found that all humans have a limited “bandwidth” for sensory input—when that limit’s reached, patience, empathy, and rational decisions vanish faster than the last biscuit in the tin.
Permission to Feel Overwhelmed
Let’s pop a myth right now: you don’t need to be a Zen master to be a “good parent.” Feeling overwhelmed isn’t a sign you’re failing. It’s a signal—to pause, to make space, to look after you.
Shame feeds chaos. Research shows that when parents feel guilty about their overwhelm, they become more reactive and less able to parent the way they’d like.
Treat yourself as you would your child: with gentle understanding and a bit of cheeky kindness.
And yes, occasionally muttering “What fresh hell is this?” under your breath is perfectly acceptable.
Claim Small Pockets of Quiet
Waiting for an entire afternoon of peace is like expecting the cat to make you a cup of tea—lovely in theory. Unlikely in practice.
Instead, hunt for slivers of quiet.
Could you sit in the car after the nursery drop-off for three extra minutes, radio off, eyes closed? Do you really need to leap up the second the kids are asleep, or could you rest your head on the pillow and listen to your own breathing?
Noise-cancelling headphones aren’t just for air travel. Popping them on—even with no music—can create a bubble of relief, even if the only thing you’re listening to is your own heartbeat (and maybe the dog snoring).
Teach Kids About Volume
It’s tempting to think children are willfully noisy. Sometimes, sure, it’s just joy. Other times, they simply don’t realise that “indoor voice” isn’t the same as “stadium announcer.”
You don’t have to shout to teach them. Try modelling what you mean: whisper when you want them to lower their voices.
Use silly games—“Let’s see who can be a mouse for five minutes!”—and praise the rare, beautiful moments of quiet.
For older kids, a quick chat about how sound affects everyone can work wonders. “Mum’s brain is a bit full today. Can we all try to use our library voices until dinner?” You might only get ten minutes, but ten minutes counts.
Make Technology Your Quiet Ally
Screens often get a bad rap, but sometimes they’re the calm in the storm. A well-timed episode of Bluey can buy you precious minutes to regroup.
There’s no shame in judicious use of tech—just keep one eye on the clock and the other on the content.
For yourself, consider mindfulness apps that include quick “reset” meditations, like Headspace or Calm. Even a two-minute mind break with these can recharge frayed nerves, and they’re designed for busy, distracted brains.
Lower the Bar
Some days, the bar has to be on the floor. If dinner is toast, and the laundry pile looks like a mountain range, you’re still doing your job.
Trying to keep a perfectly tidy house, throw Pinterest-worthy birthday parties, and respond to every WhatsApp group immediately? Impossible. A little bit of chaos hurts no one.
Kids benefit from seeing adults take a breather, admit they’re not superhuman, and model what self-care looks like.
Lean on Sensory Tools
Certain textures, scents, and sounds can help reset a frazzled nervous system. Weighted blankets aren’t just for children with sensory needs; adults find them comforting, too.
Sipping a hot drink (even if it’s just supermarket instant coffee) can create a mini ritual of calm.
Essential oils—lavender, peppermint, or citrus—can shift the mood of a room, or at the very least, cover up eau de spaghetti bolognese.
White noise machines or apps can help mask the relentless soundtrack of family life, especially if you’re working from home during the school holidays.
Share the Load, Even If It’s Not Perfect
Perfectionism is a lonely road. If your partner loads the dishwasher “wrong,” but you get ten minutes to yourself, celebrate the win.
If someone offers to take the kids for a walk, the correct answer is “YES PLEASE.” Even if the children come back covered in mud, they’ll be tired and happy.
Single parenting often means there’s no backup waiting in the wings. That’s when you call in favours from friends, swap playdates, or let grandparents spoil them rotten for an afternoon.
Interrupt the Spiral
Notice when your thoughts turn into a cacophony of “what ifs” and “should haves.” That’s when the noise gets loudest.
Experts recommend grounding techniques to break the cycle: name five things you can see. Stand up and stretch. Text a friend a meme that made you laugh.
Sometimes interrupting your own mental noise is enough to help you respond instead of react.
Therapists frequently recommend the “54321 method” for grounding: identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
It’s free, fast, and surprisingly effective.
Re-think Routines
Routines can be sanity-savers or straightjackets, depending on how rigidly you stick to them. If teatime at 5 is causing daily meltdowns, try pushing it back or swapping the order.
Some families swear by “quiet time” after lunch—everyone, even parents, spends 20 minutes reading, drawing, or simply lying down. Young children may resist at first, but keep at it, and you might just get a daily micro-break.
Seek Support—and Say It’s Loud
Telling someone, “Everything feels too loud,” is sometimes all it takes to let off steam.
Whether that’s a friend, your partner, a therapist, or the school run mum you secretly think has it all together (spoiler: she doesn’t), sharing the load makes it lighter.
If you suspect sensory overload is happening regularly, or it’s causing big distress, consider chatting to your GP or a mental health professional. There’s no badge for muscling through it alone.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Human.
There’s a reason so many parents relate to memes about hiding in the pantry with biscuits and a glass of wine. Everyone hits their “too loud” limit.
You’re not less patient, less loving, or less competent; you’re a human being living in a world that feels permanently turned up to eleven.
On tough days, the greatest gift you can give your kids (and yourself) is permission to be imperfect.
Messy, noisy families are filled with love—and yes, the odd headache. You’re exactly the parent your children need.
When the Volume Finally Drops
One day, the house will be quieter. You’ll miss the chaos (or so the older parents claim). Until then, take your moments of peace where you can find them.
Celebrate the tiny victories—three minutes of silence, a cup of tea finished while it’s still hot, a bedtime that goes according to plan.
You might not always be able to turn down the noise, but you can always turn up the kindness—to yourself, and to your little tribe.
And if all else fails, hiding in the loo is a time-honoured tradition. No judgment here.
