Parenting can feel like running a marathon while wearing shoes you found in the lost and found box—one laces up, the other’s filled with raisins.
If you’re a mum (or mom, or ma, or that lady in the kitchen who gets asked for snacks every eleven minutes) who feels maxed out, you aren’t alone.
Here’s what you need to hear, not just what you’re supposed to.
1. Good Enough Really Is Good Enough
Perfection is for Pinterest boards, not for exhausted human beings trying to locate matching socks on four hours of sleep. If you packed a lunch that contains a vegetable and it isn’t a week old, you’re ahead of the curve.
Research published by Winnicott in the 1950s introduced the concept of the “good enough mother,” suggesting that striving for constant perfection is not only impossible, it’s unnecessary.
Kids need warmth, consistency and the occasional clean school shirt. If you’re worried you’re not doing enough, odds are you’re doing more than enough.
Lower that bar. Your family’s memories won’t hinge on whether the cupcakes had homemade icing. They’ll remember you laughing with them on the sofa or chasing them round the garden in your pyjamas.
2. You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup (And Sometimes Your Cup Is a Thimble)
Self-care is one of those words that gets thrown around so much it’s started to sound like an annoying ringtone. But the concept? Still gold.
This doesn’t have to mean spa days or silent meditation retreats.
Some days, self-care is eating the chocolate bar you stashed behind the frozen peas and scrolling Instagram in peace for seven minutes. Other days it’s texting a mate just to say, “Is it normal to have this much glitter in my carpet?”
Research from Carnegie Mellon University shows that small acts of self-kindness—like a cup of tea or stepping outside for fresh air—can reduce feelings of overwhelm and boost your immune system.
Don’t wait for the “perfect” window to care for yourself. Snatch moments wherever you can.
3. Asking For Help Is A Superpower, Not A Failure
Superheroes have sidekicks and backup, yet here we are, thinking asking for help is somehow cheating. Nope.
Every parent reaches a point where playing “Who Can Stay Quietest” during hide-and-seek is the only thing keeping them from losing it.
Leaning on your partner, relatives, childcare swaps, or even the neighbour who bakes too much banana bread isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign you want to keep being the kind of parent who doesn’t lose it over a spilt juice box.
A study from the University of Cambridge found that parents who ask for support experience less stress, and their children benefit too.
People like to help. Give them a chance. (Unless it’s that one relative who sighs loudly while loading your dishwasher—skip them.)
4. You Don’t Have to Love Every Minute
You know those people who insist you should treasure every moment because “they grow up so fast?”
Try living in their house at 6:03 a.m. on a Tuesday after someone’s wet the bed and the toddler’s singing Baby Shark on repeat.
It’s okay—normal, actually—to enjoy some moments and wish others gone.
Even the most adoring mothers get bored, frustrated, or dream about running away to a luxury hotel where nobody asks them to wipe their nose.
A 2018 survey by Mumsnet showed that nearly half of parents admitted to not enjoying chunks of parenting. You’re not failing, you’re human.
Find the pockets of joy. Forgive yourself for the pockets of wanting to hide in the toilet with your phone.
5. Comparison Is a Thief With a Megaphone
Scrolling your feed and seeing everyone’s tidy playroom, packed lunch masterpieces, and toddlers reading Tolstoy can make you feel like you’re starring in an episode of Mum Fails Uncensored.
Social media’s highlight reel is just that—a reel. It’s not real.
Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania found a strong link between social media use and feelings of inadequacy in parents. Viewing snippets of other people’s best days is no way to judge your own.
That mum whose child eats kale chips probably has a laundry pile so high she hasn’t seen her sofa in a week. Nobody’s nailing every area of life.
Hide, mute, or unfollow when needed.
Celebrate your own wins, even if they look like “everyone survived Monday.”
6. Your Kids Don’t Need a Supermom—They Need You
Children remember the way you made them feel, not whether you signed them up for Mandarin lessons, Yoga for Toddlers, and gluten-free, sugar-free, unicorn-shaped birthday cakes.
A Harvard study found that consistent, loving connection is the biggest factor in a child’s emotional health.
They need your hugs, your corny jokes, your sleepy bedtime stories—even when the stories make no sense because your brain powered down ten minutes ago.
They want you, not Perfection Mom. They want the mum who snorts when she laughs and occasionally lets them eat cereal for dinner
. Be present, be real, and let yourself off the hook.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
Parenting is a marathon, a sprint, and a three-legged race—often at the same time. The rough days don’t cancel out the good ones.
If you love your kids, show up (messy, tired, or with dry shampoo in your hair), and keep trying, you’re doing brilliantly. Even if you don’t feel like it.
Put the kettle on, eat the chocolate, and remember: No one remembers the crusts you cut off or the glitter in your carpet, but they’ll always remember how fiercely you love them—even on the days that love looks like hiding in the loo for five extra minutes.
You’ve got this. Truly.
