Some people are destined for greatness: inventors, astronauts, and new grandmas armed with a nappy bag and a wallet full of unsolicited advice.
Grandmothers have earned their stripes and deserve to be adored, but even the most loving of them can occasionally, and unintentionally, stir up a bit of family mischief when they set out to spoil the grandkids.
Here’s the good news: a little doting never hurt any child. The trick is steering clear of the three common “spoiling” traps that can turn a sweet visit from Nan into a stress test for parents.
Most of these mistakes come from a place of pure love, and—if we’re honest—a dash of wanting to relive their own parenting glory days. Spot the issue, steer gently, and you’ll keep the peace (and maybe even score a night off).
Let’s decode the three biggest spoiling slip-ups, with remedies parents can put to work tonight.
1. The All-You-Can-Eat Sweets Buffet
Grandmas seem to have a sixth sense for sugar: the second you turn your back, out come the biscuits, lollies, and chocolate frogs. Don’t get me wrong—everyone deserves a treat.
Yet when the “just one more” turns into ten more, you’re the one left with a hyperactive toddler who’s suddenly learned how to scale the curtains.
Sugar is a classic weapon in the grandma arsenal. It’s easy, it’s fun, and it lights up those little faces.
Trouble is, research confirms that high sugar intake can lead to cranky mood swings and poor sleep in kids (and, if we’re honest, adults too).
It’s hard to relax after a day at work when your child is bouncing off the walls, thanks to Grandma’s legendary pavlova.
What can you do without starting a family feud? Communication is your best bet.
Try something like, “Mum, she’s been having trouble sleeping lately—can we swap the jelly babies for strawberries?” Most grandmas want to help, not sabotage bedtime.
If the sweet stash keeps appearing, consider sending along a “special snack bag” so there’s no confusion. Yes, it might feel ridiculous to police biscuits, but your sleep is at stake.
Every so often, let Nan have her sugar moment—just not two minutes before nap time. Or bedtime. Or, honestly, at any time you’d like your child to sit still for longer than three seconds.
2. The Toy Shop Explosion
From the moment your child can grasp, grandmas seem to go on a mission to single-handedly support the local toy industry. Their generosity is heartwarming, until your lounge room starts looking like a branch of Toys ‘R’ Us.
You find yourself tripping over singing unicorns and plastic building blocks, longing for the days when you could walk barefoot without risking injury.
Gifts are a love language, and many grandparents see toys as a way to stay connected.
Yet too many presents can backfire: kids start expecting new things on every visit (not great for gratitude), and toys lose their magic when there’s a mountain of them.
It’s not just you—child development experts warn that children can become overstimulated and less creative when overwhelmed by too many toys.
Think of it as the parental equivalent of staring at 800 streaming options and deciding to watch nothing.
How can parents keep the toy avalanche at bay, without sounding ungrateful? Try this: “Mum, he absolutely loves the dinosaur set you gave him—but he’s got so many toys right now, and we’re running out of space.
Would you mind saving some for his birthday?” If Grandma insists on shopping therapy, suggest books, experiences (like zoo tickets), or even a contribution to a savings account.
These options won’t clutter your living room, and they last longer than the average plastic truck.
Grandmas who love the thrill of a new purchase might even enjoy helping you sort out old toys for donation. (You’ll need tea and gentle encouragement for that conversation.)
3. The Rule Rewrite During Every Visit
You’ve spent months crafting the perfect bedtime ritual. You’ve got the bath, the book, the cuddles, the just-right nightlight.
Enter Grandma, and suddenly it’s “But at my house, we stay up for another Peppa Pig episode and have ice-cream in bed!” You might feel like you’re starring in a reality show called “Who’s Really In Charge?”
Grandmas grew up with their own set of rules, and—let’s face it—many of them survived on a diet of buttered bread and the odd lick of a battery. It’s no shock that they see themselves as the fun police, not the rule police.
Still, research shows that consistency in routines helps kids feel secure and sleep better. When the rules shift with every visit, little brains get confused, and you’re left picking up the pieces.
It’s all about boundaries, but keep it warm. “Mum, she gets unsettled when her bedtime changes—think you could help us stick to her routine?”
If Grandma is desperate to spoil, let her choose a special time each visit—a story she can read, a song she can sing—so she feels important, but the wheels don’t come off your routines.
Resist the urge to micromanage every minute, though. Kids are smart: they’ll adapt to different houses having different rules.
The trick is making sure the big, non-negotiable routines (like sleep and meals) stay roughly the same when possible. If Grandma wants to sneak in the odd treat, that’s fine—just don’t let “holiday rules” become the norm.
Keeping the Grandma Magic (Without Losing Your Mind)
No parent wants to be the killjoy or start a cold war over jellybeans and bedtime stories.
The best part? Grandmas are usually more than willing to work with you; they just need to know what matters most.
Share your biggest priorities, pick your battles, and leave a little room for the occasional rule-bending. (Grandmas are great at those “don’t tell Mum” winks.)
Families thrive when everyone feels respected and included. Grandmas have so much to give—and even more to teach us about patience, humour, and the art of a perfectly buttered scone.
Clear boundaries are the secret ingredient to making their visits feel like magic, not mayhem.
Cherish the extra love, enjoy the free babysitting, and remember: one day your own grandkids will be sneaking biscuits on your watch.
Karma, as they say, is best served with a side of sprinkles.
