Somewhere between the endless snack refills, lost water bottles, and the third “But I want it NOW!” of the morning, you may have realized: your child, beloved as they are, might be just a smidge… entitled.
Don’t panic. You’re not alone, and you’re definitely not a bad parent.
You just have a kid who’s mastered the ancient art of getting what they want, often with Olympic-level persistence.
The good news? Spoiling isn’t a permanent state. A few simple changes—no drastic upheavals needed—can do wonders.
Here’s how to lovingly, and efficiently, nudge your little prince or princess off their velvet throne and into the real world.
Spotting the Spoiled: A Quick Reality Check
Most children will push boundaries now and then. That’s in the fine print of the parenting contract you never signed but are definitely stuck with.
The key difference with a genuinely entitled child? The expectation that life will always go their way—and a refusal to accept anything less.
Common signs include constant demands, meltdowns when told no, a lack of gratitude, and a general belief that chores are a cosmic injustice. (If your child sees tidying up as a violation of the Geneva Convention, you’re in the right place.)
Rethink Rewards and Expectations
A reward system can be a lifesaver, but if every trip to the shop ends with a “treat” or every completed task is met with a parade, things can spiral.
Cornell University researchers found that kids who are constantly rewarded for basic behaviours develop an inflated sense of entitlement.
Start scaling back. Offer praise for genuine effort, not just for existing. Save tangible rewards for milestones, not for putting socks in the laundry basket (even if it truly is a miracle when it happens).
Master the Art of Saying No—And Mean It
Children are expert negotiators. Some would put lawyers to shame.
The trouble is, if “no” turns into “maybe” after five minutes of relentless begging, your child learns that persistence always pays.
Consistency is your secret weapon here. No means no—even if it’s met with a dramatic floor flop worthy of a BAFTA.
Each time you stand your ground, you’re helping your child learn boundaries and resilience. And yes, you might need earplugs at first.
Build Empathy and Perspective
An entitled child often misses the memo that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Empathy training isn’t just for corporate retreats.
Regular chats about how others feel, volunteering as a family, or even small acts like writing thank-you notes, help children see beyond their own wants.
Experts at Harvard’s Making Caring Common Project suggest that actively prompting kids to consider others’ feelings can reduce self-centeredness.
Next time your little one is sulking over not getting the last biscuit, ask, “How do you think your brother felt about missing out?” You might get an eye roll. It’s a start.
Let Natural Consequences Do Some Heavy Lifting
Every parent’s instinct is to shield their child from disappointment. But a bit of healthy frustration isn’t just normal—it’s vital.
If your child refuses to wear a coat, let them feel the chill (within reason, obviously; hypothermia is never character-building).
Natural consequences teach lessons no lecture ever could.
If a toy breaks because it was thrown, there’s no replacement on standby. If a lunchbox is left at home, they’ll discover what it’s like to go without. Sometimes the universe is the best teacher.
Encourage Real Responsibility
Children crave purpose, but even the most well-intentioned parent can end up doing everything for them. If your child’s only chore is “being adorable,” it’s time to up the ante.
Assign age-appropriate tasks—setting the table, feeding the cat, or helping with the shopping. The magic word here is “expectation.”
Sure, some grumbling will occur, but research shows that regular responsibilities build self-esteem and reduce entitlement. Plus, you’ll get help folding the never-ending laundry mountain.
Model Gratitude (Even When You Want to Scream)
Fake it till you make it. Kids are expert observers.
When they see you thanking the delivery driver, appreciating small wins, or being gracious—even when things don’t go your way—they soak it up.
Try a “gratitude round” at dinner. Each person shares something they appreciated during the day, even if it’s just that the printer didn’t jam.
Over time, these moments shift the family mindset from “I deserve” to “I appreciate.”
Ditch the Instant Gratification Trap
Every parent has caved to an urgent request just to avoid a meltdown in the cereal aisle. It’s human. Yet, learning to wait is a vital skill.
Start small. When your child asks for a snack but dinner’s in ten minutes, hold firm. If they want a new toy, let them save up allowance or wait for a birthday.
Psychologists refer to this as “delayed gratification,” and it’s linked to better emotional regulation, academic achievement, and overall happiness. Your child’s future flatmate will thank you.
Be Wary of Comparisons and Competition
Keeping up with the Joneses—or the school WhatsApp group—can leave everyone feeling inadequate. If your child sees every friend’s birthday party or gadget as a must-have, entitlement can bubble up fast.
Focus your conversations on values that matter to your family, not what everyone else has or does. Instead of “Lucy got a new bike, why can’t I?” try “We make choices based on what’s right for us.”
If all else fails, remind them that even the Queen can’t have everything.
Pick Your Battles (But Don’t Surrender the War)
Perfection is overrated, and nobody’s asking for a Victorian boarding school vibe at home. Pick one or two behaviours to address first—maybe it’s whining, or skipping out on chores.
Tackle those with gentle consistency, and celebrate small wins. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a grateful child.
A marathon of change isn’t needed. Tiny steps are perfectly respectable (and much less exhausting).
When to Seek Extra Help
If your child’s behaviour genuinely worries you—think aggression, extreme anxiety, or social struggles—it’s wise to check in with a paediatrician or child psychologist.
Sometimes, deeper issues are at play, and getting support sooner rather than later can make a huge difference.
Raising Kids Who Appreciate, Not Expect
Every parent wants their child to feel special. That’s a good thing.
But appreciating what they have, rather than expecting life on a silver platter, sets them up for real happiness—and fewer tantrums in the biscuit aisle.
Small changes, steady boundaries, and a sprinkle of good humour will do more than any lecture ever could.
Before you know it, you’ll have a child who says “thank you” without prompting, and maybe even puts their socks in the laundry without fanfare.
Now, that’s magic.
