Parenting is really just an endless loop of “Do as I say, not as I do”—except our kids are absolute bloodhounds when it comes to sniffing out hypocrisy.
That’s why the habits we model are the ones that stick, for better or for worse. No pressure, right?
If you’ve ever caught yourself eating secret snacks behind the pantry door or muttering “just five more minutes” at 1am while scrolling your phone, you know exactly how high the stakes are.
Lucky for you, it’s never too late to start passing along habits worth copying—no cape required.
Ready to see which habits are most worth sharing?
1. Kindness Actually Wins
Holding the door open for a stranger. Smiling at the postie. Saying sorry, even when it’s awkward. When kids witness everyday acts of kindness, they treat them as the norm, not the exception.
Tiny humans are wired to mimic whatever they see. According to a study from the University of Washington’s Institute for Learning & Brain Sciences, even babies as young as 14 months imitate generous acts.
Turns out, “monkey see, monkey do” works in our favour.
2. Admitting Mistakes (and Owning Them)
That time you put the remote in the fridge? Or forgot it was dress-up day? Apologise. Out loud. Directly.
Kids learn resilience not by watching adults who never mess up, but by seeing the grown-ups around them talk about mistakes without melting into a puddle of shame. It helps cultivate an environment where failing forward is celebrated, not feared.
3. Real Self-Care, Not the Instagram Version
Bubble baths are lovely, but sometimes self-care is just drinking water before your coffee. Prioritise your own wellbeing in visible ways: set boundaries, take breaks, and talk about why you’re resting, not just when you’re overwhelmed.
Kids who see parents value themselves are much more likely to do the same.
4. The Art of Saying No
Yes-itis is real, and it’s contagious. Demonstrate that it’s healthy to say “no” sometimes—no to over-scheduling, to more screen time, to that third serving of ice cream.
Boundaries are like bike helmets: a faff to remember, but absolute lifesavers.
5. Curiosity Never Gets Old
Ask questions—even (especially) the silly ones. Show them that learning isn’t something you outgrow on your way out of school.
According to Harvard’s Project Zero, curiosity is a cornerstone habit for lifelong learning and problem-solving. Next time you wonder aloud why the sky looks extra pink, you’re not just making conversation—you’re fostering a habit of inquiry.
6. Gratitude in Action
Thank you notes may feel quaint, but gratitude is more than a pleasantry. Model saying “thank you” to everyone from teachers to checkout staff, and talk about things you’re grateful for—even if it’s just surviving a Monday.
Regular gratitude practice has been shown by UC Davis research to increase happiness and resilience in both adults and children.
7. Laughing at Yourself
Nothing undercuts anxiety like a good giggle. Children who hear adults laugh off small blunders learn not to take themselves too seriously.
Whether you call your child by the dog’s name (again) or trip over the laundry basket, a chuckle goes much further than a lecture.
8. Saving for a Rainy Day (and Explaining Why)
Piggy banks aren’t just for coins. Let your kids see you make a savings plan—even if it’s just tossing loose change into a jar for a family treat. Explain out loud what you’re saving for and why.
According to research from Cambridge University, financial habits are set as young as age seven. Start early, or you might end up bankrolling their avocado toast habit well into adulthood.
9. Speaking Up When It’s Hard
Standing up for yourself (or someone else) is top-tier bravery. Whether it’s asking for help, correcting a billing error, or politely disagreeing at work, narrate your thought process to your child.
This habit helps raise kids who understand that their voice matters—even when it shakes a bit.
10. Active Listening (Not Just Waiting to Talk)
It’s tempting to half-listen while mentally planning dinner or that work email. Make eye contact. Repeat back what your child says. Put down your phone (just for a minute).
This shows children that listening is more about respect than about waiting for your turn to speak. The Harvard Graduate School of Education underscores how deep listening builds trust and empathy.
11. Trying New Things (Even If You’re Rubbish at Them)
Sign up for a painting class, try a new recipe, dance in the living room even if you’ve got two left feet. Kids who see their adults try new things without fear of embarrassment are less likely to shrink away from challenges themselves.
Perfectionism isn’t nearly as contagious as courage.
12. Eating Veggies Without a Fuss
If the only green thing you eat is mint ice-cream, it’s time to reconsider. Load up your plate with the same veggies you serve your kids (and yes, you have to eat them too).
The Division of Responsibility approach championed by dietitian Ellyn Satter shows that children are more likely to try—and eventually enjoy—foods they see adults eat.
13. Stepping Away From Screens
Screen breaks aren’t just for little ones. Put your device down, go for a walk, read a book, stare at the ceiling—show your child that it’s possible to exist without a glowing rectangle in your hand.
Family “tech-free” times (even if it’s just at dinner) create opportunities for actual conversation and the mysterious art of eye contact.
14. Letting Others Go First
Queue etiquette, anyone? Hold back at the bakery counter. Allow another car a turn at the roundabout.
Little acts of patience and generosity teach children that instant gratification isn’t a human right, and the world doesn’t revolve around them—no matter what their toddler brain believes.
15. Asking for Help
No one’s handing out medals for lone-wolfing your way through life. Make it clear it’s normal to need help sometimes, and model how to ask: “Could you hold the baby while I stir this sauce?” or “I need your opinion on this wardrobe disaster.”
When kids see adults ask for help, they’re less likely to struggle in silence.
16. Applauding Effort, Not Just Achievement
Celebrate trying hard, not just winning. Praise the process: “You gave that your best shot!” rather than “You’re so smart!”
Research from Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck shows that focusing on effort cultivates a growth mindset, making kids more resilient in the face of setbacks—and less likely to crumble when things don’t go perfectly.
17. Tidying as You Go (Even When You’d Rather Not)
It’s not about white-glove perfection; it’s about not leaving banana peels on the sofa. Model the habit of resetting your space after use—wash dishes, put shoes away, return books to shelves.
When children see you tidy up before moving on, they learn that mess is a normal part of life, but so is sorting it out.
18. Making Time for People Who Matter
Prioritise family dinners (even the ones with fish fingers and spilt milk). Call your mum. Show up for school concerts and friends’ birthdays.
Children who see parents value relationships are more likely to build strong bonds themselves—and not disappear into their rooms for a decade come adolescence.
19. Being Honest (Even When It’s Tempting to Fib)
Lost your temper? Forgot to RSVP? Tell the truth. Even little white lies (like pretending you didn’t finish the last biscuit) teach kids it’s okay to fudge things.
Honesty, especially when it’s a bit uncomfortable, models integrity more clearly than any storybook character ever could.
20. Saying Thank You to Yourself
Bit of a curveball, this one. Self-acknowledgement is rare, but essential. When you finish a tough work call or pull off a miracle school run, say “Well done, me” aloud.
It might feel silly at first but children who see adults appreciate themselves learn that self-worth isn’t just about external praise.
The Habits They Keep
Kids are watching even when you think they aren’t—especially when they’re supposed to be asleep.
The good news? You don’t have to nail all 20 habits at once. Pick a couple, give yourself permission to be gloriously imperfect, and know that every effort counts.
After all, the best thing your child can inherit is the example of a parent who’s still learning, laughing, and growing, every single day.
Isn’t that the legacy worth leaving behind?
