Trust. Such a tiny word, so much riding on it.
If you’ve ever tried to convince a suspicious toddler that broccoli won’t actually cause immediate harm, you already know: trust between kids and parents isn’t automatically handed out with the hospital wristband.
It’s earned, moment by moment, day after day—often when you’re running late and one side of your shirt is suspiciously damp.
For busy parents, building trust can feel like just another item for the “Shouldn’t I Already Be Good At This?” list.
The good news? Small, consistent habits go a long way. And there’s no deadline, no expiry date, and no need for elaborate Pinterest-worthy charts.
If you’re looking to raise kids who believe your word, confide in you, and don’t roll their eyes quite so much, these five habits are your building blocks.
1. Keep Your Promises (Yes, Even the Small Ones)
Nothing unravels trust faster than a parent who morphs into the human equivalent of an unreliable bus schedule. Kids have the memory of a particularly vengeful elephant when it comes to broken promises.
“You said I could watch Bluey after dinner” will echo in your ears long after your own memory of the conversation dissolves.
The thing is, it’s often the little promises that matter most: five more minutes at the playground, a bedtime story tonight, pancakes this weekend.
Every time you follow through, you reinforce the idea: “When Mum or Dad says something, it means something.”
Life will always throw curveballs—unexpected work calls, broken down cars, the dog eating someone’s science project—so perfection is a myth. When things go sideways, honesty is your best friend.
“I know I promised to play, but my work meeting ran late. Can we read together before bed instead?” That kind of transparency teaches children something powerful: sometimes plans change, but honesty doesn’t.
A study published in Child Development found that children are more likely to trust adults who keep their promises, even when they can’t deliver right away (source).
The message: consistency builds security, and security breeds trust.
2. Listen Like They’re the Most Interesting Person in the Room
It’s tempting to nod along while mentally compiling a shopping list or plotting your escape from the latest retelling of “what happened on the playground.”
But children can spot distracted listening faster than you can say “uh-huh.”
Genuine listening is a trust superpower. This means putting aside distractions (yes, even your phone), making eye contact, and responding to what they’re actually saying.
You don’t need to have all the answers or solve every problem. Often, “That sounds tough” is more powerful than a 12-step action plan.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Markham emphasizes that children who feel heard and understood by their parents grow up more secure and more likely to confide in them as teens and adults (see her advice).
So, even if you’re hearing about the unfairness of bedtime for the 800th time, listen like it’s breaking news.
Hint: This habit works wonders with partners too. But that’s a post for another day.
3. Admit When You Mess Up (And Apologise Properly)
Parents are not robots. If you are, please skip to the troubleshooting section in the back.
For everyone else, mistakes are part of the package: snapping when you’re tired, forgetting to sign permission slips, occasionally confusing one child’s name with the neighbour’s cat.
Admitting you got it wrong isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a trust jackpot. Kids are constantly learning not just from what you say, but from what you do.
When you own your mistakes and apologise sincerely (“I was grumpy this morning and snapped at you. That wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry”), you teach accountability, humility, and the idea that everyone makes amends—yes, even adults.
Research in Developmental Psychology suggests that parental apologies not only repair ruptures in trust, they also model healthy conflict resolution for children (read the study).
Your kids learn that messing up isn’t the end of the world, as long as you take responsibility.
Bonus: Children are much more likely to apologise themselves when they’ve seen it done with grace and honesty.
4. Share Age-Appropriate Truths (Skip the Overly Elaborate Fibs)
Nothing shakes trust faster than catching your parent in a tall tale.
Sure, sprinkling in a bit of childhood magic (“The Tooth Fairy looooves glittery teeth”) is one thing, but dodging tough conversations or sugarcoating tricky subjects can backfire fast.
Children’s questions will test your poker face: “Why do people die?”, “How are babies made?”, “What does ‘fired’ mean?”
It’s tempting to default to a fib when you feel unprepared, but sharing honest, age-appropriate information builds credibility and safety.
Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour recommends that parents answer children’s questions clearly, using language they can understand, and avoiding more detail than necessary (her expert guidance here).
This approach helps kids trust that, when they need the truth, you won’t steer them wrong—or leave them Googling answers at 2 a.m.
If you don’t know the answer, admit it! “That’s a good question. I want to think about the best way to explain it—can we chat after dinner?”
This signals that you take their concerns seriously and value honesty.
5. Respect Their Feelings (Even When You Secretly Want to Laugh)
Big feelings in small humans can be bewildering. A meltdown over the colour of their cup. A dramatic sigh because their toast is “too toasty.”
In these moments, it’s easy to dismiss or distract (“It’s not a big deal,” “You’re fine!”), especially when you’re rushing out the door.
But here’s the thing: when you acknowledge feelings, even if you don’t get them, you’re telling your child that their emotions matter.
Validating what they feel—“I can see you’re upset that your favourite shirt is in the wash”—shows respect. And respect is a two-way street.
A study from the University of Washington found that children whose feelings are acknowledged and discussed with parents develop better emotional regulation and trust.
You don’t have to agree with the reason behind the tears. You just need to show you’re on their team, even when you’re baffled by the drama.
Next time the toothpaste is the wrong flavour, try, “That’s frustrating. I’d be sad if someone gave me mint when I wanted strawberry, too.” (Though you may never understand the depth of their strawberry loyalty.)
Trust Is Built In Small Moments
Every parent, at some point, worries they’ve blown it. The good news: trust is surprisingly resilient, and much more about the everyday than grand gestures.
Each time you keep your word, really listen, admit a mistake, tell the truth, or respect your child’s feelings, you’re laying another brick in that foundation.
Busy schedules, surprise tantrums, and the general chaos of family life don’t have to be obstacles. Start with a single habit, see what works, and watch the shift in your connection.
Trust doesn’t need a five-year plan or endless self-help books—it just needs you, showing up, as you are, one moment at a time.
The broccoli, sadly, remains non-negotiable. The trust? That’s entirely within your grasp.
