New grandmas: adorable, wise, occasionally meddlesome, and always armed with opinions sharper than a freshly sterilised nappy pin.
Becoming a parent is a wild ride, but having your own parent suddenly reappear—now rebranded as “Nana” or “Granny” or “Mimi”—is a whole new adventure.
Especially when she starts doling out advice you didn’t ask for (and sometimes can’t un-hear).
Before you consider investing in earplugs, let’s look at seven classic lines that well-meaning grandmas just can’t help but say, and how you, as busy parents, can handle them with aplomb.
1. That’s not how we did it in my day
Raise your hand if you’ve heard this one before. You’re strapping your newborn into the car seat, and suddenly Mum is reminiscing about how “babies slept just fine on their tummies,” or “cot bumpers made the cot look ever so homey.”
Generational wisdom can be comforting, but let’s be honest: plenty of the old-school methods have gone the way of the rotary phone for good reason.
Experts now point out, for example, that sleeping babies on their backs reduces the risk of SIDS, and cot bumpers have been quietly retired to the museum of Dangerous Parenting Products.
A gentle “a lot has changed since then, Mum” often works wonders. If she presses further, try, “I know—wild, isn’t it? We’re following the latest health guidelines, just to be safe.”
2. Are you sure the baby isn’t hungry?
Few things make a new parent doubt themselves quite like a baby’s unexplained wailing. Enter Grandma, peering into the pram, brow furrowed: “Maybe he’s hungry. He needs a biscuit. Just a little one, for his gums.”
Or, “He’s crying again—maybe your milk isn’t filling him up?”
Feeding opinions are a time-honoured grandma tradition, whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or considering baby-led weaning.
Grandmas mean well, but their comments can sting, especially when you’re running on three hours’ sleep and a half-chewed oat bar.
Research actually shows babies cry for all sorts of reasons (spoiler: sometimes just because they can). Trust your instincts.
If the baby’s gaining weight and seems content between feedings, you’re doing it right—even if Grandma is convinced the secret to world peace is a rusk at 4am.
3. You should put a hat on her
Every child in Britain has, at one point, been smothered in knitwear by a grandma convinced a “bit of air” will result in pneumonia.
Summer? “Where’s her hat?” Twenty degrees? “She needs a vest.”
It’s never about the baby’s comfort, really—it’s about the grandma’s deeply rooted belief that only hats stand between your family and a week’s stay at the children’s hospital.
Politely explain, “My health visitor says she’s fine as is, thanks,” or, better yet, hand Grandma the hat and let her have her moment. (It buys you at least ten minutes of peace.)
4. You’re making a rod for your own back
According to Grandma, rocking the baby to sleep or cuddling them for more than three nanoseconds is the first step on the road to raising a pint-sized tyrant.
“You’ll spoil her!” she warns, watching in horror as you dare to pick up your wailing infant.
Current research shows responsive parenting actually benefits babies’ emotional development. Spoiling? Not so much. Human babies aren’t bananas; they don’t go off after too much cuddling.
If your mum is worried about discipline, gently mention that building trust now makes for more independent children later. Or just smile, keep rocking, and let her reminisce about the golden days of “cry it out.”
5. When are you having another one?
Nothing strikes terror into a new parent’s heart quite like this question.
Your stitches haven’t dissolved, you’ve just managed to sleep two hours in a row, and suddenly Granny is eyeing up your womb like it’s a holiday cottage she’d like to rent for the summer.
Family size and spacing are nobody’s business, but Grandmas often forget that. If you’re feeling diplomatic, try, “We’re just enjoying this one for now.”
If you’re feeling frisky (and your mother has a decent sense of humour), respond with, “I’ll add it to my to-do list, right after ‘shower’ and ‘eat an actual meal.’”
6. I never needed all this ‘stuff’
Modern baby gear is a marvel: bottle warmers that look like spaceships, prams with more suspension than your first car, wipes warmers for that luxury bottom experience.
Grandmas, though, are known to survey the living room—now a minefield of toys and gadgets—with thinly veiled suspicion.
“I had three children and managed with a pram, two muslin squares, and a peg on a string.”
Try not to bristle. While it’s true that some modern kit borders on the absurd—wipe warmers, I’m looking at you—many of today’s products are designed with safety and convenience in mind.
If Nana gets too snarky about your baby monitor or steriliser, offer her a crash course in modern safety standards. Or, if she’s game, ask her to pick out something your baby loves from the endless pile of gear—it might win her over.
7. You really should get some sleep
Grandmas love to state the obvious, but none so much as this classic. You’re up every two hours, sporting eye-bags that threaten to trip you on the stairs.
“You look tired,” she observes, as though you hadn’t noticed. “You really should nap when the baby naps.”
Thanks, Mum. Why didn’t I think of that?
Napping when the baby naps sounds lovely, unless you’ve also got laundry, emails, and a two-year-old who’s discovered the joy of emptying the kitchen cupboards.
If you’re feeling cheeky, reply, “You’re right—can you watch the baby while I sleep?”
Grandmas often surprise you: many leap at the chance for a baby cuddle, and suddenly, that nap isn’t just theoretical.
How Parents Can Stay Sane (and Keep Granny in the Loop)
Grandmas—loveable, hilarious, occasionally infuriating—often just want to feel needed. Their advice can be a time capsule from the past, a badge of pride, or sometimes, a gentle plea for involvement.
Deep breaths, a sense of humour, and a well-timed cup of tea go a long way.
Try inviting Grandma to share stories from her own parenting days while you swap notes on the latest baby gadgets. Show her the research behind your choices if she’s interested (or just quietly go about your business if not).
Most importantly: remember, grandmas have been through it all before.
Surviving their unsolicited opinions is just another rite of parenthood—right up there with assembling IKEA cots and fishing raisins out of car seats.
You’re the parent now. That means you get to call the shots (and choose whether the baby wears the hat).
Grandma can have her opinions, but at the end of the day, the only voices that matter are yours and your little one’s—preferably after a decent nap.
