Ever catch yourself staring at your teenager, wondering how they’re going to manage when there’s no one around to shout “Have you done your laundry?” or “No, you can’t survive on instant noodles alone”? You’re in good company.
Most parents have at least fleeting doubts that their beloved offspring might not be quite as ready for adulthood as they are for TikTok trends.
Here’s a reality check with a side of gentle humour: seven signs your teen might need a little more practice before they’re set loose on the unsuspecting world—and what you can actually do about it (tonight, if you’re feeling energetic).
1. Their Laundry Basket Doubles as a Science Experiment
Some teens seem to believe that laundry does itself, perhaps via washing machine fairies.
Socks migrate to corners, shirts develop a scent that could repel a bear, and the phrase “I’m out of clean clothes!” is treated like an act of God.
Laundry is more than a chore—it’s a crash course in responsibility.
Research from the University of Michigan found that giving children regular household jobs from a young age helps develop a strong work ethic and self-reliance.
If your teen wouldn’t know where to find the detergent, it’s time for a lesson.
Tonight’s challenge: Have your teen walk you through the whole process—sorting, loading, measuring, and folding. Don’t step in unless they’re about to add fabric softener to the dishwasher.
And no, sniffing a shirt and declaring it “fine” doesn’t count as clean.
2. Budgeting Is a Foreign Language
Ask your teen how much money they have, and you might get anything from a blank stare to a shrug. If their idea of budgeting is simply not checking their bank balance (if they have one), we have a small problem.
A Charles Schwab survey found that only 24% of young adults feel confident in their money management skills. Setting a budget, tracking spending, and prioritizing needs over wants are survival skills.
Try this: Hand them their allowance (or earnings) in cash and have them plan a week’s worth of lunches or outings without tapping up the Bank of Mum and Dad. Show them real bank statements.
If you’re brave, reveal what you actually spend on utilities or groceries—then let the sticker shock do its thing.
3. Meals Consist Mainly of Toast and Noodles
The phrase “I don’t know how to cook” is all too familiar. Left to their own devices, some teens will cheerfully live on toast, cereal, and noodles until scurvy sets in.
A 2023 study from YouGov showed that 63% of 18-24-year-olds rate their cooking skills as “basic” or “non-existent”. Yet learning to cook even a few simple meals builds confidence and independence—not to mention keeps their arteries clear.
Tonight’s test: Pick a recipe together (bonus points if it has more than three ingredients and none of them are “flavour sachet”). Supervise as they chop, sauté, and actually taste their food.
Don’t forget the washing up—because the culinary adventure isn’t over until the kitchen no longer looks like a Jackson Pollock painting.
4. Alarm Clocks Are Merely Suggestions
If your teen’s morning routine involves three snooze cycles, a panicked dash for the bus, and creative excuses for tardiness, there’s a wake-up call (literally) coming.
Adult life doesn’t come with reminders from Mum or Dad—and bosses tend to frown upon “the dog ate my bus pass” as a reason for lateness.
Consistent routines build self-discipline—something every employer and university expects.
Try this: Switch roles. Let your teen set their own alarm, prep their bag, and get themselves out the door. Resist the urge to micromanage. If they oversleep, allow the consequences to unfold.
It may take a missed lift or two, but natural consequences can be shockingly effective educators.
5. Every Crisis Is an Emergency (and They Need You to Fix It)
Flat phone battery? Cat threw up on the bed? Can’t find their shoes? Some teens treat every hiccup as DEFCON 1, broadcasting it to the entire family WhatsApp group.
Problem-solving is a muscle, and it only gets stronger when exercised.
Research in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence points out that resilience and coping skills are directly linked to how often teens are allowed (and required) to resolve their own minor issues.
Tonight’s experiment: When your teen presents you with a crisis, try asking, “What do you think you should do?” Offer guidance only if they’re completely stuck.
It may feel slightly cruel at first, but you’re not just raising a child—you’re growing an adult.
6. Social Skills Are Stuck in the Group Chat
Texting is second nature, but human interaction? That’s another story. Some teens would rather message from across the house than have a conversation at the dinner table.
Interpersonal skills—like introducing themselves, holding eye contact, and reading social cues—are a ticket to success in work and relationships.
Researchers at the American Psychological Association warn that over-reliance on digital communication can hinder the development of these skills.
Teens who struggle with face-to-face communication might find group projects, interviews, or new social situations daunting.
At tonight’s dinner, ban all screens.
Start a conversation about something trivial (pineapple on pizza, anyone?) and encourage everyone to chime in. Invite your teen to order their own food at restaurants or call to make appointments.
It feels awkward now, but it pays off later—promise.
7. The “To-Do” List Never Leaves the “To-Don’t” Category
If your teen’s to-do list looks more like a wishlist—full of tasks that never quite get ticked off—they might need help building self-motivation.
Procrastination is practically a sport for some teens, but putting things off doesn’t magically disappear with adulthood.
A study published in Psychological Science found that children who learn to delay gratification and stick with hard tasks are more successful later in life. This is the famed “marshmallow test” in action.
Pick one chore or responsibility and set a timer. Make it a competition—can they beat their own time from last week? Tie completed jobs to extra privileges or small rewards.
Celebrate effort, not just results, and watch as that “to-do” list starts to shrink (even if only by a few lines).
Spotting these signs doesn’t mean your teen is doomed to a future of mismatched socks and burnt toast. Every parent sees a few of these traits in their kids (and sometimes in themselves, no judgement here).
Growing up is a process, not a light switch—sometimes it takes a little nudge and a lot of patience.
Try tackling one sign at a time, and don’t be afraid to let them flounder a bit. It’s in those slightly uncomfortable moments—when the laundry piles up or dinner is a disaster—that real learning happens.
And if all else fails? There’s always a YouTube tutorial. Or, at the very least, a sternly worded group chat message.
