Love is a tricky thing.
It’s easy to say “I love you” between toothpaste explosions and lost shoes, but showing it—especially when you’re busy enough to consider caffeine a food group—takes a little more creativity.
Kids are sponges for affection, and the right gestures can linger for years.
Here’s how you can sneak those “I really do adore you” moments into even the most hectic days.
1. Make Eye Contact and Actually Listen
Multitasking is the secret sauce of modern parenting. Stirring the pasta while replying to work emails and answering “Mum, why do worms have no legs?” for the fifteenth time takes real talent.
The catch? Kids can tell when you’re only half-listening.
Carve out five minutes—just five—where you grab their attention (and yours) and really listen. Put your phone down, look them in the eye, and listen like their story about a potato that looks like a duck is headline news.
Research confirms that undivided attention, even in short bursts, makes children feel valued and secure (read more on the importance of attentive listening).
Magic happens when you become their audience, even if the concert is an off-key rendition of “Let It Go” in the supermarket queue.
2. Say “I Love You” in Their Language
Some kids thrive on words, others on cuddles, and a few prefer a spontaneous wrestling match on the lounge room floor. Every child has their own love language, and matching it can make your affection feel tailor-made.
Get to know what makes your child’s eyes light up. Is it a quick hug before school? A silly note in their lunchbox? A secret handshake that makes siblings jealous?
Gary Chapman’s theory of love languages in children has helped countless parents crack the code. You don’t have to become a mind-reader—just notice what gets them grinning.
A little love in their preferred flavour goes a long way.
3. Apologise When You Mess Up
Nobody gets out of parenting with a spotless record. Maybe you snapped after stepping on yet another Lego, or let a swear word slip during peak traffic.
Instead of burying your mistakes under a pile of “mum’s just tired,” try the magic words: I’m sorry.
Owning up to your slip-ups shows kids that love isn’t about perfection. It’s about being real, accountable, and willing to fix things.
Studies have shown that parents who apologise foster stronger trust and emotional security in their children (see research on parental apology).
Bonus: “I’m sorry” teaches empathy. Plus, you’ll get better at apologising every time you step on a Lego. Which will be often.
4. Share Laughter and Inside Jokes
Nothing bonds a family quite like laughing so hard you snort tea out your nose. Life’s full of serious moments, but injecting humour into the daily grind tells your kids: Hey, we’re in this together, and it’s OK to be silly.
Create your own family in-jokes. Maybe there’s a code word for “Dad’s cooking again, and it’s probably edible.” Or that ridiculous dance everyone does when the bins get taken out on time.
Laughter lowers stress, boosts connection, and helps kids feel like they belong (the science of laughter and family connection).
You don’t need a stand-up routine—just a willingness to look a little daft together.
5. Set Boundaries and Keep Promises
It’s tempting to say yes to everything. “Sure, you can have ice cream for breakfast. And lunch. And, why not, dinner?” But loving your child doesn’t mean giving in.
Boundaries are the secret ingredient to raising kids who feel safe.
Kids crave structure. They might groan when bedtime rolls around, but deep down, the predictability is comforting.
And if you promise pancakes on Saturday, deliver—unless the house is on fire, and even then, maybe pop some on before you evacuate. Sticking to promises (big and small) builds trust and teaches integrity.
Boundaries and follow-through: the parenting equivalent of broccoli with a side of chocolate sauce.
6. Show Up for the Little Things
Award nights and birthdays are obvious moments to shine up your “supportive parent” badge. The trickier bit? Cheering on the sideline at 8am on a drizzly Saturday, or clapping for the 47th drawing of a cat that looks suspiciously like a hedgehog.
Your presence matters, not just at the showy milestones but in the daily grind. Research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child points to consistent, engaged parenting as a major factor in healthy child development.
You don’t need to be front row every time. Sometimes it’s a text, a sticky-note, or just a word at tuck-in: “Saw you working hard on your project—proud of you.” Small acknowledgments add up.
7. Let Your Child Teach You Something
You may have survived disco-era fashion and learned to operate every appliance in the house, but nothing humbles quite like an 8-year-old explaining Minecraft or a teen giving a TikTok tutorial.
Flip the script and ask your child to show you something they love. Maybe it’s their favourite game, a dance move, or the secret to drawing a perfect dragon.
This swap in roles gives kids a sense of competence and respect—and you just might learn something new (or at least finally understand why that song is stuck in their head).
When you allow your child to take the lead, you’re telling them: “I value what you know.”
Everyday Love, Extraordinary Impact
Turns out, love isn’t one grand gesture.
It’s the little things—listening to wild stories, apologising, laughing at terrible knock-knock jokes, and showing up even when you’d rather be horizontal on the couch.
No one gets it right all the time. Parenting is a glorious, sticky, sleep-deprived experiment.
But with these seven ways, you can reassure your child (and yourself): love is right here, right now, between mismatched socks and spilt juice.
And the best part? You don’t need more hours in the day—just more little moments that say, “You matter to me.”
Even if you’re saying it with a note in their lunchbox, a wonky pancake, or a smile that says, “Yes, that potato really does look like a duck.”
