Running on empty. That’s the default setting for a lot of mums.
Who knew the phrase “sleep like a baby” actually meant “wake up every two hours, screaming”?
If self-care sounds like a spa day in Paris, but you’re more likely to get five minutes alone with a lukewarm coffee in the loo—well, welcome to the club.
Still, getting a little recharge doesn’t have to require a trust fund, childcare, or a magic wand.
Sometimes it’s about sneaking small, meaningful moments back for yourself—even if the only things you’re juggling are sticky, half-eaten breadsticks and existential dread.
Ready for a top-up? Here are five doable ways to start feeling like a vaguely functional human again.
1. Claim Your Micro-Moments
Forget the myth of “me time” as a two-hour bubble bath with scented candles while someone else watches the kids.
For most mums, micro-moments are the reality: two minutes here, thirty seconds there.
That means making the most of odd seconds while the kettle boils or during that extra minute in the car before heading inside with groceries.
Instead of scrolling social media and getting sucked into a wormhole of other people’s perfect lives, try a one-minute guided breathing exercise or listen to a favourite song—even if just the first 45 seconds before someone yells “MUM!”
Small acts like stretching your arms above your head, massaging your own temples, or stepping outside to feel the sun for a moment can work wonders.
A 2019 study from the University of Surrey found that even 20 minutes with nature (yep, even a scruffy back garden) can boost wellbeing—though parents are experts at squeezing those 20 minutes into four five-minute bursts between snack requests.
Make peace with the fact that these moments might not be Instagrammable, but they’re yours. Snap them up.
2. Sleep Smarter (Not Just More)
“Sleep when the baby sleeps!” said every well-meaning, childless person ever. Some days, the idea of a solid eight hours is as fanciful as unicorns folding laundry.
But there are clever ways to make the sleep you do get work harder for you.
Sleep experts agree that quality sometimes matters more than quantity. Avoid that late-night “revenge procrastination” scroll and wind down with something actually restful, like a short sleep story on the Calm app or a cup of herbal tea.
If your child is a night-waker, try to keep your own bedtime consistent—even if it’s earlier than you’d like. (Yes, even if it means missing the end of your favourite show. That’s what recaps are for.)
If you’re up with a child at 2am, use a low-brightness, blue-light-free lamp instead of the hallway floodlights. That makes it easier to fall back asleep, according to sleep hygiene research.
And if the only chance for a nap is in the carpool queue or during Peppa Pig reruns—take it. The laundry pile will wait (it isn’t going anywhere, trust me).
3. Ask for Help—Then Actually Accept It
“Let me know if you need anything!” How many times have friends, family, or your partner offered that, and you’ve shrugged it off with “I’m fine”? Here’s a wild thought: say yes.
Requesting help doesn’t mean you’re failing at motherhood—just human. One Australian study found that mums with stronger support networks reported significantly less stress and burnout.
Ask your partner to handle bedtime solo, swap babysitting with another parent, or take up that neighbour on her offer to watch the kids while you have a cuppa.
Even young children can be given small jobs (“Can you fetch Mummy her slippers?”) that offer both help and a sense of pride.
If friends or family are far away, try joining an online mum’s group in your area where you can trade tips, rants, and maybe even arrange a playdate swap.
The Peanut app connects mums for conversation and support, and sometimes that’s as vital as a full night’s sleep.
The world may say we should “do it all,” but the smart mum knows teamwork keeps the wheels from falling off. Plus, asking for help sets a great example for your children—it’s a reminder that nobody’s meant to do life solo.
4. Find Your Own Version of Mindfulness
Mindfulness gets tossed around a lot. But for a tired mum, the idea of sitting still and meditating for half an hour can feel about as realistic as fitting into pre-pregnancy jeans.
The trick is to sneak mindfulness into what you’re already doing. While washing up, tune into the feeling of warm water and the sounds around you.
While walking with the pram, notice the rhythm of your steps, the colours outside, your breathing.
One Harvard study found that short, consistent bursts of mindfulness can ease anxiety—even if you’re interrupted by a toddler demanding snacks every five minutes.
Try a “three things” check-in: name three things you can see, hear, and feel whenever you’re feeling frazzled. Or try a free, bite-size mindfulness app like Smiling Mind, which was developed by psychologists for busy people.
If meditation is still a stretch, there’s always “mindful chocolate consumption” after bedtime. (No need to share, and no guilt.)
5. Protect Your Boundaries Like They’re Made of Chocolate
Every mum knows the feeling: you say yes to one extra after-school activity, one more favour, and before you know it, your day is booked solid from sunup to sundown.
Unapologetically protecting your boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s survival.
Practice saying “no” without a 15-minute explanation. If you’re worried about letting people down, remind yourself that “no” is a complete sentence.
Set aside specific times every week (even just 20 minutes) that are yours—and guard them like a dragon guards treasure.
Whether it’s a solo walk, calling a mate, or simply staring at the ceiling in blessed silence, put it in the calendar and treat it like any other appointment.
A 2017 survey by YouGov revealed that a third of parents never get quality time alone. That’s not because they don’t want it—it’s because it gets scheduled out.
If you don’t protect this time, no one else will. (Kids have a sixth sense for when you’re about to relax, so be creative: a “laundry folding party” in your bedroom might just be code for “Mum reads a book with the door shut.”)
No Medals for Martyrs—Just Happier Mums
Motherhood is full of impossible choices: sleep or shower, clean house or sane mind, one more bedtime story or five minutes to yourself.
Yet the truth is, when you take even the smallest steps to recharge, everyone benefits—including your kids.
Nobody gets a trophy for running on fumes. There’s zero shame in saying you’re tired, in taking a break, or in needing support.
Your children don’t need a perfect mum; they need a real one, with a little bit of energy left for a smile, a cuddle, and the occasional game of hide-and-seek (where you hide and “forget” to be found for a while).
Recharge in whatever way works for you—even if it’s just standing in the doorway and feeling the sun for sixty seconds. Every mum deserves that, and a biscuit on the side.
