There’s a special club out there, and the only requirement is doing it all solo. Single parenthood: you can’t fully explain it, but you know it when you’re living it.
While the world is quick to offer advice (and side-eye in the school carpark), only those who’ve done the late-night cough syrup dash, solo, truly get it.
Here are five things only single parents really, truly understand—with a few tricks to make the circus act a little less… banana peels and more standing ovations.
1. Mastering the Art of the Contingency Plan
For single parents, ‘Plan B’ isn’t a backup—it’s a lifestyle. Dinner’s burning, the cat’s sick, and your toddler has just painted the wall with something suspiciously sticky.
When you’re the only adult in the house, every situation calls for a Plan C and D too.
Every day is a choose-your-own-adventure story, where the plot twists come fast and the author (that’s you) is fuelled by lukewarm coffee.
The ability to improvise, adapt, and recover from disaster is a muscle single parents build stronger than anyone else.
Here’s the trick: create ‘grab bags’ for emergencies—snacks, wipes, a change of clothes, and that one toy guaranteed to provide three minutes of peace. And don’t underestimate the power of a good group chat with other parents who get it.
Sometimes, moral support is as vital as spare nappies.
2. The Exhausting Glory of Being On, Always
Picture it: you’re the chef, cleaner, accountant, birthday party planner, and resident spider-catcher. There’s no “wait till your father/mother gets home.” You are home. You are the cavalry.
That relentless feeling of being needed, every hour, every day, is both exhilarating and exhausting. Only single parents know the odd pride that comes from keeping (most) balls in the air—even if you’re doing it while wearing yesterday’s socks.
Self-care gets talked about a lot, but here’s a version that works for real-life single parents: micro-breaks. Five minutes in the bathroom, door locked, scrolling memes.
Singing loudly in the car after school drop-off. Saying “no” to yet another bake sale.
Recharge your batteries in bite-sized moments, and remember: you don’t have to do it all perfectly. Good enough is actually brilliant.
3. The Guilt Olympics and Their Never-Ending Events
Ah, guilt—the unofficial mascot of single parenting. Did you work too late? Order too many takeaways this week? Forget to sign the reading log (again)?
The list is as endless as the pile of unmatched socks.
Single parents often put themselves under a microscope, feeling they must make up for an ‘absent’ parent, or prove to the world they’ve got it under control.
Here’s the unvarnished truth: no one has it together all the time. And your kids? They probably think you’re amazing, simply because you show up.
Kids thrive on love and stability, not Pinterest-worthy birthday cakes.
Dr. Shoshana Bennett, clinical psychologist, points out that children are more resilient than we give them credit for and benefit most from feeling safe and loved.
Pick one thing to do well each week—a proper bedtime story, an actual dinner at the table, no phones. Let the rest slide. The world won’t end.
4. Decision Fatigue That Hits a Whole New Level
Single parents aren’t just making all the decisions—they’re making them alone, with no one to blame when it all goes pear-shaped. Mac and cheese for the third night in a row? Your call.
Should your child try out for the football team, or stick with drama club? It’s up to you.
Research from the University of Minnesota shows that decision fatigue is real, and parents who make every choice alone are especially vulnerable.
If you’re waking up at 3 a.m. worrying about swimming lessons versus piano, it’s not just you.
Here’s what helps: outsource decisions where possible. Give your children a say in age-appropriate choices—let them pick their clothes or what’s for Friday-night dinner. Not only does this cut down your mental load, it helps them build independence.
For the big stuff, confide in a trusted friend or relative. Even texting “should I buy the yellow or blue raincoat?” can be a relief. Sometimes, you just need someone else to nod.
5. The Fierce, Unmatched Bond with Your Kid(s)
It’s not all chaos and cold coffee. Single parents develop a bond with their children that’s both fierce and unique.
When you’re the one tucking them in, cheering at the school play, and patching up scraped knees, you become an entire support system rolled into one.
These shared experiences can forge a closeness that lasts a lifetime. There’s a joy in the in-jokes, in the tiny moments (like dancing in the kitchen at 7 a.m.), and in the pride you both feel after getting through a hard week.
Research from the Pew Research Center suggests children of single parents are just as likely to feel secure and supported as their peers—sometimes even more so, simply because of the depth of their relationship with their parent.
The secret? Celebrate the little things. Movie night in bed, pancakes for dinner, spontaneous dance parties. These are the memories that matter. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
You’re Not Alone in This
Single parents, you’re everyday superheroes—cape or no cape. It’s not always glamorous, and yes, some days you do wonder if you might actually be raising a small herd of goats instead of children. (The mess, the noise, the climbing—honestly, spot the difference.)
But the love, the grit, and the laughter? Those are yours, hard-earned, and well deserved.
Next time you spot another solo parent wrestling a buggy and three bags of groceries while calmly negotiating a lollipop treaty, give them a nod.
You both get it—the highs, the lows, and the utter magic that comes from being all in, all the time.
