Parents, every once in a while, you just need a break from the sibling bickering, the mysterious stains, and the philosophical debates about why pants are necessary at the dinner table.
Nothing hits that reset button faster than a belly laugh—preferably one that ends with milk coming out of someone’s nose (ideally not yours).
Here are 35 side-splitting jokes designed to ignite giggles, groans, and the occasional eye roll.
1. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because it was stuffed. (That’s right. Even bears know when to stop.)
2. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese! Guaranteed to start a debate about snack ownership.
3. How do you make a tissue dance?
Pop a little boogie in it. Apologies in advance for the sneezing fit that might follow.
4. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems. Just don’t let your kids use this excuse during arithmetic time.
5. What do you call a dinosaur with bad eyesight?
A Do-you-think-he-saurus. Not the dinosaur for hide and seek.
6. Why did the student eat his spelling test?
He wanted better grades. (This isn’t a nutritional recommendation.)
7. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! If only all identity crises were this delicious.
8. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling very well. Yes, this one comes with a healthy dose of vitamins and puns.
9. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner. Walls need friends too.
10. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go. This one works best when sung dramatically.
11. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer. And you thought your toddler was hard to wake up.
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field. Dad jokes: sowing seeds of laughter for generations.
13. What did zero say to eight?
Nice belt. Sometimes fashion advice comes from the most unexpected places.
14. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one. Never hurts to be prepared—just ask any parent on a day trip.
15. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite! Ideal for chilly evenings or post-bedtime snack negotiations.
16. Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two-tired. (We’ve all felt this before the morning caffeine hits.)
17. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree! No sunscreen required.
18. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus. If only fixing a child’s sniffles was as simple as turning them off and on again.
19. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear. Sweet and safe for the littlest laughers.
20. Why was the broom late?
It overswept. Sleepy cleaning tools—relatable, right?
21. How do you organise a space party?
You planet. (Just don’t let your little ones start handing out invitations to Mars.)
22. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener. Some gadgets really do live up to their name.
23. Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing! Modesty among vegetables is no joke.
24. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut. This one may inspire new playground antics—be warned.
25. Why was the stadium so cool?
It was filled with fans. Makes you wish for a few more in the laundry room.
26. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator. Trench coat optional.
27. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy. This is why emergency biscuit rations are a must.
28. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud! Sometimes the classics are the best.
29. What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved. Low tide, high puns.
30. Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed. The real crime? How many times you’ll have to explain this one.
31. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles. Extra points for sound effects.
32. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. Try this one at Halloween for maximum impact.
33. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music. You’re welcome for the mental image.
34. Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks. No actual chickens were harmed in the making of this joke.
35. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for fresh prints. Bonus points if your kids have seen any of his movies.
Keeping the Giggles Going
You’ve just stocked your arsenal with 35 laughter-inducing zingers—perfect for car rides, bedtime wind-downs, or breaking the ice at awkward family gatherings.
Kids don’t just love jokes for the punchlines; sharing a laugh with you helps boost their connection and confidence, and even improves their language skills, as outlined by this expert recommendation on humour and child development.
Want to up the fun? Challenge your youngsters to invent their own jokes, or hold a family comedy night and see who gets the biggest laugh (or groan).
Even the most groan-worthy quips can become treasured family in-jokes, trotted out for years to come.
Laughter really is the best way to remind everyone—yourself included—that family life doesn’t have to be polished or perfect to be joyful.
Sometimes, it just needs a palm tree, a nutty squirrel, and a bathtub full of giggles.
