Let’s be honest, some days it feels like the only thing you’re accomplishing is keeping small humans alive with snacks and hope.
Confidence? Some mornings it’s hiding under the couch cushions with the missing socks and last week’s jelly beans.
The good news: you can give your confidence a solid nudge with the right words—even when you’re running late for school pick-up or scraping oatmeal off the ceiling.
Here are 30 things you can say to yourself (or mutter into your coffee) to boost your confidence on even the wildest of parenting days.
1. I am exactly who my kids need
Comparison likes to creep in around every corner—Instagram, school gates, even the cereal aisle. Remind yourself you are the parent your child needs, quirks and all. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but you are perfect for them.
2. I’m doing my best, and that’s enough
Honestly, “doing your best” sometimes means toast for dinner. That’s still enough. Self-compassion researcher Dr. Kristin Neff encourages us to celebrate effort, not just results.
3. It’s okay to ask for help
Superheroes have sidekicks for a reason. Whether it’s calling on a partner, a mate, or a neighbour who owes you from bin day, asking for help is a mark of wisdom, not weakness.
4. I can figure this out
Even if you don’t know the answer now, you’ve solved a hundred puzzles before (remember assembling that IKEA cot at 2am?). Trust yourself. You’ll sort it.
5. I don’t have to get it right every time
Perfection is as mythical as the unicorn your toddler swears lives in the garden. A misstep isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s a sign you’re showing up.
6. My feelings are valid
Frustrated? Overwhelmed? Wishing you could holiday in the bathroom alone? All perfectly legitimate. Parenting is emotional heavy lifting. Allow your feelings to exist without judgment.
7. I can handle change
Routine gets thrown out the window the minute you think you’ve nailed it. Remind yourself you’re adaptable. You’ve handled sleepless nights, teething, teenage moods—change is your middle name.
8. I am more than my mistakes
That time you shouted at the wrong child? That burnt dinner? Not your whole story. Mistakes are moments, not definitions.
9. My voice matters
In the cacophony of opinions (from relatives, friends, strangers in the queue), your instincts and decisions count. You know your family best.
10. I am allowed to take up space
Yes, even if the only “space” you get is the two feet at the end of the sofa. You deserve room for your needs, dreams, and snacks nobody else is allowed to touch.
11. I am patient, even when I don’t feel it
Patience looks different for everyone. Sometimes it’s a deep breath; sometimes it’s counting to ten before responding to a toddler’s fourth meltdown before 9am. You are more patient than you realise.
12. I can learn from today
Every day brings new surprises (and often new stains). Growth is about learning in real-time. Be curious, not critical.
13. My boundaries matter
Saying “no” is not selfish—it’s survival. Boundaries teach your kids about respect, and they keep you sane.
14. I bring something special to my family
Your laugh, your playlists, your ability to find the missing shoe—each is a treasure. Your family’s culture is richer because you’re in it.
15. I have done hard things before
Remember sleep deprivation? Potty training? That week when everyone had chickenpox? Every challenge you’ve survived is proof you can do it again.
16. I am brave enough for this
Bravery isn’t about never feeling afraid; it’s about doing the hard stuff anyway. Parenting is the original leap of faith.
17. My needs matter too
Putting yourself last only leads to burnout (and an empty secret chocolate stash). Your wellbeing is just as important as anyone else’s.
18. I choose what I focus on
Worry has a way of filling every corner. Shift your focus to what’s working, what you love, what you find funny. The rest can wait.
19. I am teaching my kids through my actions
Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Modelling confidence, even when you’re faking it, helps them develop it too. Parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham explains that your calm rubs off on them.
20. I can forgive myself
Self-forgiveness is a power move. Holding grudges against yourself only weighs you down. Release, reset, carry on.
21. I am allowed to change my mind
What worked last week might be a disaster today. Flexibility is a strength, not a flaw.
22. I am resilient
Parents bounce back. Sometimes wobbly, but we bounce. Resilience is built in the ordinary moments—like cleaning up spilled milk for the 57th time.
23. I am loved
Whether it’s sticky hugs, a partner’s text, or a friend remembering your coffee order, you are loved. Don’t forget it.
24. I can say no without guilt
Guilt loves to hitch a ride on “no.” Thank it for its input and send it on its way. You don’t need to justify protecting your energy.
25. I am more than my to-do list
You are not just the sum of packed lunches, permission slips, and laundry piles. There’s a whole universe inside you that deserves attention, too.
26. I am learning every day
Parenting is on-the-job training with no manual. Every day teaches you something new—about your kids, yourself, or the correct volume of washing powder.
27. I can celebrate small wins
The kids got dressed without an incident? Small miracle. You remembered the library books? Gold star. Notice and savour the wins, no matter how tiny.
28. I am worthy of rest
Rest isn’t a reward for finishing a to-do list; it’s a basic need. Even a five-minute lie-down behind a locked door counts.
29. I can laugh at the chaos
When things go spectacularly off script, laughter is a lifeline. Humour lightens the load and reminds you that not everything needs to be serious.
30. I am growing, right alongside my kids
Growth isn’t just for little ones with the ever-lengthening legs. You’re evolving, stretching, and figuring it out, one day at a time.
When Confidence Needs a Little Nudge
These affirmations aren’t magic spells (you still have to pack the PE kit). But weaving them into your day, out loud or in your head, can make a real difference.
Confidence, it turns out, is a muscle—one you can strengthen with practice, patience, and the occasional family dance party.
On days when self-doubt is running the show, try picking a few phrases from this list. Stick them on the fridge, scribble them on your hand, whisper them over the washing up.
The more you say them, the more you believe them—and the more your kids will learn to speak kindly to themselves, too.
You’ve got this. And if you forget, there’s always tomorrow’s coffee.
