There’s nothing quite like the emotional contortion act of dropping your little one at daycare for the first time.
You’re told separation anxiety is normal. You’re assured they’ll have a ball painting with yoghurt and singing songs about ducks.
But what if, one week (or six) in, you’re still seeing more drama than a lunchtime episode of EastEnders?
Busy parents, you don’t have time to unravel every sniffle or tantrum. Still, some signs are worth a closer look.
1. Clinginess That Refuses to Quit
We expect a few tears at drop-off. After all, you are their favourite grown-up, even if you sometimes sneak broccoli into their mash.
For most kids, the clinginess fizzles as they become familiar with their new routine, friendships, and snack-time politics.
If your child is still clutching your leg like a barnacle after several weeks—or their teacher is texting that it’s meltdowns galore all morning—something deeper could be up.
Extended clinginess is often a canary in the coalmine for difficulty adjusting.
Researchers say it’s common for little ones to need a transition period, but persistent clinginess, especially when paired with outright refusal to participate in group activities, might mean your child is struggling to feel safe or comfortable in their new environment.
What You Can Try Tonight
Consistent Goodbyes: Tempting as it is to make a stealthy getaway, a predictable, loving goodbye ritual can help your child feel secure. A special handshake, a secret hug, a silly rhyme—anything that signals you’ll be back, no matter what.
Keep Goodbyes Short: Lingering at the door or popping back in “just to check” tends to prolong the agony. Think ‘plaster removal’—quick, loving, and slightly ridiculous.
Reassure and Stay Calm: Your child channels your vibes, so if you look like you’re about to burst into ugly-cry, they’ll take that as a sign that this place really is terrifying.
Talk with Their Caregiver: If the clinginess is epic, ask the educators for their observations. Are they seeing the same at circle time or meals? Sometimes a simple tweak—like a buddy system or a comfort item from home—can make all the difference.
2. Changes in Eating or Sleeping Habits
You know your child’s appetite is legendary. Yesterday, they inhaled an entire banana, a handful of rice cakes, and a questionable breadstick in 10 minutes flat.
Suddenly, you’re hearing reports that they’re pushing food away at nursery, or you’re dealing with unsettled nights that make you question your life choices.
According to child development experts, disruptions in eating and sleeping patterns are a classic stress response in young children. Their little bodies are busy mounting a defence against a world that feels unpredictable.
What You Can Try Tonight
Monitor Without Panic: A day or two of fussiness is par for the course, especially if your child is getting over a cold, teething, or has just discovered the thrill of saying “no.”
Consistent changes that last longer than two weeks or seem extreme (think: skipping multiple meals, waking hourly all night) deserve a chat with the childcare team.
Replicate Comforts from Home: Is your child used to a certain lullaby or a special toy at naptime? Many daycares allow a familiar blanket, stuffed animal, or even a family photo for comfort.
It’s not cheating—it’s emotional scaffolding.
Don’t Force-feed or Overreact: Refusing lunch at daycare doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent or that your child is doomed to a life of chicken nuggets and existential dread.
Respect their cues and trust that appetite often bounces back once they feel more secure.
Share Routines with Staff: If you have a magical naptime routine, let the carers in on your secret. The more consistency between home and daycare, the easier your child will find the transition.
3. Regression in Behaviours
Your child finally mastered the toilet. Or stopped biting like a tiny vampire. Or slept through the night for a glorious, fleeting week. Suddenly—bam!—the nappies are back, and you’re regretting ever boasting to your friends.
Regression is the day-to-day reality for many children facing big changes. When a child’s world shifts—new carers, loud rooms, unfamiliar faces—old, comforting behaviours can resurface.
While regression is a normal response to stress and adjustment, it’s the duration and intensity that matter.
If your child is suddenly fearful, having more toileting accidents, reverting to baby talk, or tantruming much more than before, consider this their gentle way of waving a flag.
What You Can Try Tonight
Patience, Not Punishment: No one wants to be woken up at 3 a.m. by a child demanding their dummy back, but punishment or shaming will only increase your child’s anxiety. Take a breath.
Reassure your child, offer extra comfort, and quietly remind yourself that this phase is temporary.
Extra Connection Time: A little bit of special, one-on-one attention can work wonders. Ten minutes of reading together, cuddling, or even letting them “help” with dinner (read: scatter flour everywhere) tells your child that your relationship is unshakeable.
Communicate with Educators: If you’re noticing big changes, ask if staff are seeing similar behaviours in the group. Sometimes, they’ll have a fresh perspective—or a suggestion you haven’t tried.
Maybe your child’s regression is mirroring something happening with a peer, or it’s linked to a specific part of the routine.
Celebrate Small Wins: If your child manages to use the potty at nursery, even once, make them feel like a champion. Enthusiasm is contagious—and motivating.
When to Seek Extra Support
Most children will settle into daycare with a bit of time, routine, and a heap of reassurance. Still, persistent signs over several weeks—especially if your child seems genuinely unhappy, withdrawn, or is struggling to connect with peers or staff—deserve attention.
Trust your gut. If you feel that something isn’t right, don’t be afraid to ask the centre for a meeting, or speak with your GP or a child psychologist.
Sometimes, just a bit of extra support can prevent small stumbles from turning into bigger hurdles.
Adjusting Takes Time (For Everyone)
Change rattles everyone, even when it’s for the better.
While tears and clinginess are hard to stomach (seriously, who invented drop-off, anyway?), most kids emerge from their wobbles with fresh confidence—and more glitter in their hair than you thought physically possible.
Stay tuned-in to your child’s cues, partner with their caregivers, and trust that, with love and patience, your little one will soon be singing the “Wheels on the Bus” right along with the rest of them (possibly at 5 a.m.—you’ve been warned).
