If it feels like you’re raising a small tech support specialist who only eats if the iPad is present, you’re not alone. Screens are as much a part of family life as laundry piles and missing socks.
But how do you know when “a bit of extra telly” has slid into something trickier?
Here’s what to watch for—and what you can actually do, even after a long day.
1. Changes in Mood and Behaviour When Devices Are Taken Away
Remember when the Wi-Fi went out for an hour, and your child acted like you’d cancelled Christmas? An intense reaction to being parted from a device is one of the most telling signs that screens are running the show.
Many children will get a bit grumpy when asked to pause a game or turn off their show. That’s par for the course.
But if you’re seeing meltdowns, dramatic sobbing, or behaviour that rivals the last five minutes of a reality show, it could signal something deeper than a simple case of “five more minutes, Mum.”
According to research on digital media overuse from the CDC, screen withdrawal can trigger real distress in some children, similar to what happens with other addictive behaviours.
This isn’t just a matter of missing out on a high score. The brain develops a craving for the dopamine hit that games and videos provide—pulling away can feel genuinely tough.
What can you do tonight?
Try creating a transition routine for shutting down screens. A five-minute warning, followed by something comforting (think: a cuddle, a snack, or a quick game of Uno), helps dial down the drama.
You might also want to designate screen-free times—like mealtimes or the hour before bed—even if the first few evenings feel a bit bumpy.
The aim isn’t punishment; it’s helping your child learn to shift gears without a total system meltdown.
Oh, and resist the urge to fill every gap with a device yourself. (Nothing like being called out by your six-year-old for checking emails at dinner.)
2. Losing Interest in Other Activities
Once upon a time, your child may have been the Picasso of playdough, or at least willing to walk around the block with you. Now it seems screens have replaced everything else—outings, toys, even the prospect of a hot fudge sundae.
This is a big red flag. The American Academy of Pediatrics points out that when children start to lose interest in non-screen activities, it suggests their relationship with digital media is edging into unhealthy territory.
Screens are engineered to be compelling. Video platforms auto-play; games dole out sparkly rewards; even educational apps gamify every tap.
Children who once enjoyed outside play, creative projects, or time with friends may start avoiding these in favour of screen time. You may hear, “That’s boring,” or the classic, “I don’t know what to doooooo,” whenever a screen isn’t involved.
How to help?
Begin by checking your own expectations. If your child’s only alternative to their tablet is “sit quietly and contemplate the ceiling,” try introducing activities with a pinch of novelty.
This could be as simple as a new library book, baking biscuits together, or a trip to the park—weather and toddler moods permitting.
Invite your child to help plan a few screen-free options. Give them some choice: “Would you rather help make pizza or play in the garden after school?”
You’re not competing with YouTube’s algorithm here, but you can make offline life more appealing.
Some families swear by screen tickets or tokens that kids can earn for participating in other activities, but be careful not to make every non-screen moment a transactional grind.
Most importantly, try not to let the guilt spiral take over. If you’ve been busy, tired, or have simply needed the peace that screens provide, you’re in very good company.
Kids are adaptable—and your willingness to try new routines already counts for a lot.
3. Secretive or Sneaky Screen Use
When a child starts hiding their devices under the duvet, fibbing about “just doing my homework,” or goes full ninja to snatch extra phone time, it’s time for a closer look.
Secretive behaviour around screens is a classic warning sign, flagged by child psychologists as a hallmark of problematic use.
This isn’t just about cheeky YouTube binges—sneaking screen time often goes hand-in-hand with feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety.
You might discover devices hidden under pillows, or see a child frantically closing tabs when you walk in. Maybe you notice they’re waking in the night to check a phone or sneak a tablet (the “glow under the duvet” move is a classic).
Other tell-tale signs: lying about how long they’ve been online, or inventing elaborate tales about why they need the iPad at 7 a.m. on a Sunday.
What can you do?
Aim for a mix of boundaries and empathy.
Instead of launching into a full-blown interrogation, try a gentle check-in: “I’ve noticed you’re spending more time online lately—how are you feeling about it?” (No need to mention that you’ve developed the tracking skills of a MI5 agent.)
Establish clear rules around screen use, such as devices charging in a common area overnight, or having device-free bedrooms if possible.
Consistency is everything—if the rule is “no screens after tea,” stick to it yourself as best you can. Children spot loopholes faster than lawyers.
If your child is secretive because they’re anxious about losing access, it may help to talk about why boundaries exist.
Keep consequences predictable, and try to avoid heavy-handed punishments that make screens feel even more forbidden and desirable.
If you’re concerned your child’s sneaky behaviour points to something more serious (like exposure to unsafe content, or anxiety about social media), consider reaching out to your GP or a child mental health professional.
The earlier you get support, the easier things are to turn around.
When to Worry (And When to Breathe)
Every parent has handed over a phone at a restaurant, or let Bluey babysit for half an hour during dinner prep. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that your child is “addicted.”
The difference between enthusiastic screen use and an actual addiction is about patterns over time: is your child losing control over their device use? Is it interfering with sleep, friendships, or family time? Are there more fights over screens than over whose turn it is to feed the dog?
If you’re nodding along to several of the signs above and feeling that things have got a little out of hand, you’re not alone.
The World Health Organization recommends treating digital media like you’d treat sweets: fine in moderation, best with supervision, and probably not something you want to find stashed under the bed.
Resetting Your Family’s Screen Habits
No need to haul every gadget to the tip or declare “Screen-Free August” (unless you fancy mutiny). Start with small changes:
- Set up regular screen-free zones or times, like the dinner table or during the bedtime wind-down.
- Use parental controls, but also talk openly about your reasons for them.
- Model the boundaries you want to see (yes, that means putting your own phone away sometimes).
- Celebrate non-screen activities: movie night counts if you watch together and talk about what you enjoyed.
- Check in with your child about their favourite games or shows—being interested in their digital life opens doors for honest chats.
Most importantly, remember that children aren’t tiny robots. Some days, the screen-time rules will go out the window, and that’s okay.
Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about steady nudges in a better direction, with plenty of love, a splash of humour, and the odd episode of Bluey.
You’re already doing better than you think. And if all else fails, there’s always Uno. (Just hide the iPad first.)
