If your son’s latest classroom drawing features a caped hero who rescues kittens, builds a rocket, and then sits quietly with his feelings—well, you’re likely already winning at the “healthy masculinity” game.
For the rest of us, raising boys who grow up kind, confident, and emotionally intelligent can be a wild ride.
Between cricket matches, lost lunch boxes, and the perennial debate over whether socks can, in fact, be worn more than one day in a row, it’s no wonder parents crave simple, trustworthy resources.
Books can be that rare breed of ally: equal parts entertaining and enlightening.
The right story can nudge a young lad (or his grownups) toward a more caring, self-aware version of manhood—without feeling like a lecture from someone who only wears corduroy and uses “problematic” as every third word.
Chuck these three books onto your bedside pile. They’ll help you, your son, and even your partner rethink what it means to be a “real man”—and none of them require a single push-up.
1. The Mask You Live In: The Book Version
Documentary fans may recognise The Mask You Live In from screens, but Jennifer Siebel Newsom’s movement also spawned a book that’s tailor-made for parents looking to decode modern masculinity.
If you’ve ever heard, “boys don’t cry!” from relatives at family gatherings (and resisted the urge to throw the trifle), this book is for you.
The Mask You Live In unpacks how society’s expectations can box boys into a narrow idea of what’s “manly”—stoicism, aggression, emotional constipation (for lack of a better term).
Newsom and her team offer practical strategies for encouraging boys to express feelings, build empathy, and embrace connection. Real stories from parents, teachers, and the boys themselves keep it grounded, rather than preachy.
What makes this book a standout? There’s a focus on the “how,” not just the “why.”
Strategies range from encouraging open-ended conversations about feelings, to gently challenging playground bravado, to modeling vulnerability yourself (deep breaths—it gets easier).
The takeaway: masculinity isn’t a straitjacket; it’s an outfit kids can stitch together themselves, with all the colours they fancy.
If you’re after more than just anecdotes, the book draws on research from the American Psychological Association, which points out that traditional masculinity can be linked to increased risk of depression and risky behaviours, particularly in boys.
The book’s suggestions for fostering emotional intelligence aren’t just “nice to have”—they can shape mental health for years to come.
Try this tonight: When your son is upset, instead of “toughen up,” try, “I can see you’re having a hard time. Want to talk about it or just hang out?”
Spoiler: Either option is miles better than the old “walk it off.”
2. Raising Boys: The Steve Biddulph Classic
