Raising girls is a wild ride full of unexpected tangents, elbows to the ribs, and conversations about lip gloss that somehow end up being about the meaning of life.
Most daughters won’t come out and say it, but they’re desperate for their parents to dig a bit deeper—beyond school, chores, and the mystery of where all the socks go.
Carving out space for real chats? That’s where the magic happens.
If you’re tired, pressed for time, or just unsure how to get things rolling, this list is your shortcut. These are the questions that girls of all ages secretly hope you’ll ask—and listen to the answers.
1. What’s something you wish adults understood about you?
Kids are basically mystery novels with a few chapters missing. Instead of assuming what’s going on, parents who ask what’s misunderstood get a peek behind the curtain.
You might discover she feels pressured to always smile, or that adults brush off her worries about group chats as “drama.” Her answer could surprise you—and show her you’re genuinely curious.
2. Who makes you laugh the most?
A daughter’s sense of humour is a window into her world. Whether it’s her mate from scouts with a knack for banana-peel pratfalls, or a TikTok creator who sings with her cat, you’ll get insight into what lifts her spirits.
If you’re lucky, she might share a meme or two with you (prepare yourself).
3. Is there anything at school you wish was different?
You might hear about the cafeteria’s tragic pizza triangles or wish for less homework, but sometimes you’ll get a glimpse into deeper worries: friendship cliques, a subject she’s struggling with, or even worries about the loos.
Don’t rush to fix—just listen.
4. What are you most proud of lately?
Girls often keep their proudest moments close to their chest, especially if they’re not the type to shout from the rooftops. Asking directly gives her permission to brag just a little—plus, you’ll spot what lights her up.
5. Which fictional character do you relate to most?
Whether it’s Hermione, Moana, or a quirky webcomic heroine, this question uncovers the qualities she admires and aspires to. You might also get clues about what challenges she’s tackling in her own life.
6. When have you felt really brave?
Courage isn’t always about slaying dragons. Maybe she stood up for a friend, tried out for a play, or told a teacher she needed help.
Drawing out these moments helps her see her own strength, even if she’s not in the habit of thinking of herself as brave.
7. What’s your favourite way to spend an afternoon?
This isn’t about filling the calendar—it’s about understanding her version of bliss. Whether she’s a bookworm, a netball fanatic, or happiest concocting potions in the kitchen, you’ll get new ideas for quality time together.
8. Is there something you’re scared to talk to me about?
Prepare for a pause, a raised eyebrow, or even a giggle. Creating space for tricky topics (friendships going wobbly, body questions, mistakes at school) reassures her that you’ll be her safe place—no matter what.
9. What’s your favourite memory of us together?
Cue the warm fuzzies. Not only does this question bring back good times, but it also reveals what she values most about your relationship.
Sometimes the moments you think were background noise are her highlights.
10. Who do you admire and why?
Whether it’s a teacher, a sports star, a mate who’s been through tough times, or a pop singer with serious moves, her answer sheds light on the role models shaping her worldview.
Just try not to look shocked if it’s someone you find baffling—she’ll notice.
11. Has anyone made you feel left out lately?
Oof. This one can be hard to ask, but the payoff is worth it. Girls of all ages—yes, even teenagers with eyebrows on fleek—crave belonging.
If there’s a social pain point, this gentle nudge gives her permission to talk about it, and, according to research from the American Psychological Association, simply feeling heard can ease the sting.
12. If you could change one rule at home, what would it be?
Brace yourself: screen time limits are probably in the crosshairs.
But you might hear about wanting more independence, a later bedtime, or even a plea for family movie nights with fewer phone interruptions. Compromise is a superpower.
13. What’s a goal you have for yourself this year?
Forget New Year’s resolutions that wilt by February—what does she actually want to achieve? Whether it’s learning to skateboard, beating her personal best at maths, or writing a song, you’ll learn what she cares about.
Extra points if you help her break it down into doable steps.
14. Do you ever feel pressured to look or act a certain way?
From Instagram filters to playground trends, girls absorb a lot of “shoulds.” Opening this door lets her know that you get how tricky body image and peer pressure can be.
This is also a prime time to share your own wobbles at her age (yes, even those regrettable ‘90s haircuts).
15. What does friendship mean to you?
Friendships come in all shapes—thick-as-thieves, mates for maths class, or the “we just sit together at lunch” variety. By asking what friendship means to her, you signal that relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all.
It’s a chance to reinforce what healthy, respectful friendships look like.
16. If you could time travel, what age would you visit and why?
Answers might range from “I want to see you as a teenager, Mum,” to “when dinosaurs ruled the earth.”
This playful question sparks creativity and can reveal what she’s curious (or worried) about—growing up, making choices, or simply the appeal of not having to pay bills.
17. What’s something you wish we did together more often?
Sometimes kids crave simple things—a walk around the block, baking biscuits, or even just a regular tea-and-chat. Her answer is your roadmap for connecting in ways that genuinely matter to her.
18. Is there something you wish you could tell your friends but can’t?
Friendships are full of unspoken rules. Maybe she’s worried about hurting feelings, or maybe she doesn’t know how to say “no.”
By inviting her to share these secrets, you can brainstorm gentle ways for her to set boundaries or speak her mind.
19. What’s the best thing someone’s said to you lately?
A compliment from a teacher, a friend’s silly inside joke, or a simple “thanks for helping”—this question highlights the power of words. It’s also a sneaky reminder that kindness sticks.
20. Who do you talk to when you’re upset?
Spoiler alert: it might not be you. Try to keep your poker face. Whether she turns to a best friend, a diary, or the dog, the key is that she’s got outlets for her feelings.
If she struggles to name someone, suggest ideas (including you, without guilt-tripping her).
21. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Steal a line from the self-help crowd and watch her imagination light up. Maybe she’d try out for the school play, start a band, or ask the new kid to hang out.
Encouraging her to voice bold dreams—even silly ones—shows her that fear doesn’t have to call the shots.
Cracking the Parent-Daughter Code
Even if you only manage to wedge one or two of these questions into a car ride or a rushed dinner, you’re already doing more than most.
The goal isn’t a 60-minute therapy session in the lounge. It’s about building trust, giving her space to be heard, and showing her that you’re on her team—even when socks vanish or moods get prickly.
Keep these questions in your back pocket for moments when you sense she’s ready to talk, but don’t turn them into an interrogation.
Sometimes you’ll get a grunt or an eye roll; sometimes you’ll get gold. Either way, she’s clocking your effort.
And one day, she might even thank you—just probably not out loud.
