Ever feel like “mom guilt” has you on speed dial? You’re not alone.
Somewhere between mismatched socks and the school bake sale (that you definitely forgot—again), guilt creeps in and starts spinning its tales.
Busy parents barely have time for a proper brew, let alone wrestling with that internal voice insisting everyone else is doing it better.
Spoiler: they aren’t.
But guilt is a crafty little thing. Let’s call out five of its most persistent fibs—and get on with being the perfectly imperfect parents our kids actually need.
1. Other Parents Have It All Together
Ever peek at another parent’s Instagram and think, “How are they doing yoga with the baby while the toddler paints a watercolour masterpiece?” Social media is a highlight reel, not the full saga.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy, “Comparison is the thief of joy” (and apparently also the thief of sanity).
The truth? No one has it all together—at best, they have it all together for about seven minutes.
That carefully curated online image doesn’t show the pile of laundry just out of frame, or the screaming match over which pair of shoes is “too itchy.”
Try this tonight: Share a small, honest moment with a friend. Maybe it’s the burnt toast, the lost library book, or the tantrum at the supermarket.
Chances are, you’ll get a reassuring “me too” in return. Real connections often start with real mess.
2. Good Mums Never Lose Their Temper
The myth of the endlessly patient, soft-spoken parent is about as real as unicorns doing the school run. Even the most Zen among us have snapped over a LEGO minefield or a public display of toddler rage.
Research from the American Psychological Association points out that stress is a universal parental experience. Losing your cool doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a human one.
What matters is what happens next: repair.
Making amends can be as simple as, “I’m sorry I yelled earlier. I was frustrated.” This models emotional honesty for your kids, teaches them about apologies, and helps everyone move on.
Spoiler: Your children aren’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for reassurance that love sticks around, even after a wobble.
3. If I Were Doing It Right, Parenting Would Feel Easier
Ah yes, the fantasy that there’s an “easy” mode hidden somewhere, and you’ve just missed the memo. Parenting is hard—sometimes in hilarious ways, sometimes in heartbreaking ones. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Child development expert Dr. Laura Markham explains that parenting triggers old wounds and pushes us out of our comfort zones daily.
Raising children is meant to be challenging; that’s the gig. The learning curve is steeper than your toddler’s slide at the park.
Instead of measuring your worth by ease, try celebrating small wins. Managed to get everyone out the door with shoes on (your own included)? That’s worth a high-five and maybe a biscuit.
If the wheels fell off at dinner, remember: It’s the effort, not the flawless execution, that counts.
4. I Must Sacrifice Myself to Be a Good Parent
Somewhere along the line, “good parenting” became synonymous with martyrdom. If you’re not running on caffeine and crumbs, is it even parenting? This lie says your needs don’t matter—only the kids’ do.
Newsflash: Children thrive when parents are thriving, too. A study published in the journal Family Relations shows that parental well-being significantly impacts children’s emotional health.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s essential.
Tonight, give yourself permission for one small act of self-care, guilt-free. Maybe it’s a hot shower alone, finishing a book (three pages at a time), or ignoring the clean laundry for an episode of something mindless.
Your family benefits from a you who is not running on fumes.
5. One Mistake Will Ruin Everything
Ever replay that awkward conversation or the time you forgot the school trip, convinced you’ve set your child on a course for therapy?
Parenting is a marathon, not a one-lap dash. One bad day, or even a string of them, doesn’t define your family.
Resilience is built in the repair, not in perfection. According to child psychologist Dr. Dan Siegel, children need “good enough” parents—folks who mess up sometimes and then make things right.
It’s the long game of love, patience, and (occasionally) apologising for whatever you accidentally said while hangry.
Instead of catastrophising, try this: Write down three things your child would say they love about you.
It might be your silly voices at bedtime, your champion-level hide-and-seek, or the way you make their sandwiches “just right.” That’s what they’ll remember, not the odd meltdown.
The Real Story of Being Enough
Mom guilt is persistent, but it’s also a sneaky liar. It tells you stories that keep you stuck, convince you that everyone else is nailing it, and that you alone are falling short.
The truth? Parenting isn’t about flawless execution, epic patience, or self-sacrifice to the point of invisibility.
It’s about showing up, doing your best (even when your best is reheated pizza and a messy living room), and loving your children in big and small ways.
Messy, funny, chaotic love—the kind that survives mismatched socks, forgotten lunches, and the occasional shout.
You’re not alone, you’re not failing, and you are—truly—enough. That’s the bit your children will remember, long after the last school run is done.
